Drawing Clear Boundaries On Requests For Your Time
by Erika Slater
Do you ever feel like there are never enough hours in the day to get done what you have to get done?
Upon further review, when you look at what you are getting done does most of it focus on the needs and whims of others, and what they want from you? What about you? Are you truly getting what you want and are you spending enough on you?
There is nothing selfish about wanting time for yourself and getting what you want. In fact, the one thing that everyone should be more demanding about is getting the most out of their life based on their own conditional terms!
When we constantly skip to the beat of others drums (their needs and wants) we neglect our own needs.
In fact, we feel like we are getting “short changed” by what life has to offer. Some start to question, “Wow, is this all life has to offer? I feel like I am doing a lot but getting nowhere!”
This is definitely one sign that you are living for others and existing for yourself.
You know this is a fact when you feel that you are enduring life rather than enjoying life. Interestingly, when your personal space and time boundaries continually get crossed and you feel like you are living for others, resentment is most likely to set in and you start to develop a disdain toward the people you are doing things for.
The best of intentions carried out become ones of bitter disappointment. It’s time to draw a line in the sand when you feel this way and establish healthy boundaries!
Don’t get me wrong here as I am aware we all have responsibilities to family and our jobs but those responsibilities should never be a 24/7 commitment. This is not physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy for the mind and body.
You will eventually burn out and then need someone to take care of you. In some cases, good luck with that! I am sure those that invaded your boundaries when you were doting over them are quick to “evade” your boundaries now that you need them.
Unfortunately, that is often times how the story goes. Therefore if you are becoming healthy boundaries all along, mutual respect is created and reciprocity (give and take) exists.
The rule to healthy boundaries and fulfilling lives is one of two things; 1) Complimenting and (2) Accenting.
Whatever or whomever you allow into your life should compliment you. Their presence should only continue to add feelings of goodness and respect rather than taking what you have away. You should always feel good about yourself and what you are doing rather than dreading it.
When someone accents your life, they help bring out the good in you that already exists or they contribute something new to you that only makes you appreciate yourself more and leads to harmonic experiences when you are around them.
The key is never to lose sight of yourself because you always have your sights set on others.
They say fences help create the best neighbors and healthy boundaries help maintain good and lasting friendships!
Drawing Clear Boundaries is one of the fundamental topics I cover in my Confidence and Self-Esteem Hypnosis Program for Cape Cod & Islands region here.
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