How to Stop Thinking About Someone So You Get On With Life
by Erika Slater
There are times in your life where no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to stop thinking about someone. There are generally three reasons people can’t seem to stop thinking about others; 1) They have an intense and extreme crush on another individual, 2) They miss someone who has left their life, or 3) They worry about another person so much their thoughts are endlessly consumed with worry.
If you’ve never been able to stop thinking about someone, or you’re in that place at this point in your life right now, then this article is for you.
MORE ON “CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU”:
For whatever reason, whether it be their own hormones, endorphins or perhaps even the scent of another individual, it’s as if they’ve become possessed by another person.
Perhaps this is where the notion of love at first sight came from where you become instantly captivated by the likes of another person, and once you come in contact with them, it’s like you become cursed to adore them so much, you can’t think about anything else.
This is a real phenomenon that does affect many people particularly young love.
Most of us can think back to our high school days and remember that special girl or boy that set that whole discovery of the opposite sex off.
It’s also a phenomenon that’s precipitated and manufactured in the media (romance novels, soap operas, movies, fairy tales) where people get caught up in the ‘magic’ of being in love or romanced.
There’s nothing wrong with it, as long as it doesn’t become all-consuming of your thoughts and begin to hinder accomplishing your responsibilities.
Some individuals have a difficult time in that they can’t seem to stop thinking about someone once that individual is no longer a part of their life. An individual may have experienced a relationship or marital breakup, and since their mate has left, they can’t seem to focus on anything other than how to get them back, or what they could have done differently.
This can be particularly all-consuming if the other party was the instigator of the break-up and you’re still in the denial stage and not accepted the relationship has really ended. This can be particularly worrisome for both parties.
One of the most heartbreaking of these “missing a person” struggles is to overcome grief.
If you’ve experienced the death of someone close to you and it was shocking and so distressing for you then it’s appropriate you can’t think about or focus on anything else for a while. For some this can linger for years particularly if it was a sudden loss and there remains a sense of no closure.
Long term grief is more common than you may think. Over the years, I’ve seen a number of people who struggle to move on after the death of a loved one. It consumes much of their daily thoughts.
Then there are some individuals, namely parents, who can’t seem to stop thinking about their kids when they’re away from them.
Even though I use the operative word “thinking” in regards to their kids, the more appropriate word is worry!
There are those parents who are worrywarts who can’t stop imagining the worst could happen to their kids when they’re not around.
They try to be over-protective, even to the point of creating separation anxiety in their kids especially as they leave for university to live on their own for their first time. College administrators call these helicopter parents. It’s okay, I’ve been there and done that!
So, let’s look at ways of moving on from whomever it is occupying our thoughts endlessly…
WAYS TO STOP THINKING ABOUT SOMEONE:
No matter what case scenario you fall under, thinking ceaselessly about others, and not focusing on your own important matters is not healthy.
Perhaps your mind is ‘too active’ and needs to be reined in a little, or you need to learn how to monitor your thoughts to focus on what’s important in the moment.
But we know telling yourself not to think about somebody doesn’t work and tends to make it worse as your mind constantly wanders back to thoughts of them. It’s akin to the problem of somebody asking you “don’t think of a pink elephant.”
It just brings a “pink elephant” to mind, right?
If attraction/sex is the cause of your infatuation and you’re still in another committed relationship, then research suggests we focus our thoughts on the person we are already with and remember when we first fell in love with them or the times when we so loved their company.
The fact is distraction away from constant thoughts of someone can loosen their grip on your mind and it can also help with thoughts of grief, other losses, anger, and worry about others. Distractions can be a favorite pastime or hobby or spending time with family and friends, and even pleasant thoughts of time already spent with other folks.
Those who are occupied with constant thoughts of worry about someone are in many instances struggling with “releasing” somebody and letting them move on. The someone can be your own kid or other family member of a special friend. We tend to worry needlessly about somebody as we may fear the worse but it rarely happens, and if it does it’s never as bad as we think.
I want to be careful here not to underplay the worry somebody may have of a loved one going into a dangerous situation. In this day and age this is real and the worry is justified. Frankly, there may be nothing that can be done here other than to seek support from others.
Depending on what you’re dealing with as the focus then seek out a therapist who can help tackle that cause. For example, if long-term grief is the issue then there are therapists who specialize in grief. Overcoming lingering divorce separation is another area where you can find therapeutic specialist help.
Another form of professional therapeutic help is hypnosis.
Hypnosis is a tool for training your mind to focus on what’s important, and block out and shut down destructive mind chatter. When you focus on the same thing over and over you create a cycle or chain of repetitive thoughts.
Hypnosis can help break this cycle if it’s proving stubborn to release from everyday thoughts.
Some hypnotherapists have experience and specialize in grief or loss counseling and can provide one-on-one sessions for you. If you want to consider working directly with me around a loss through my online or in-office sessions, then check out my Hypnosis Services or if you’ve a specific need then contact me here.
Alternatively, you can look for a self-hypnosis session to purchase so you can listen wherever and whenever you want. For example, if you’re looking for closure on constantly thinking about a particular person then check out this self-hypnosis session from hypnosis downloads here >>>
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES RELATED TO STOP THINKING:
Erika Slater CH
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