Dealing with Your Ego So It Doesn’t Become a Self-Esteem Issue
by Erika Slater
This is a series of 8 articles focused on topics around Confidence and Self-Esteem. They cover topics which are covered in a clinic I offer in my North Grafton office and will form the basis of an eBook to be released at Amazon for the Kindle in the spring.
Are you one of those people who have hard time with letting your “ego” get in the way?
Are you driven by the need to not only feel like you are always right, but “Are right all of the time!“?
If this sounds like you in any way, then perhaps this article is for you.
That is if you are not willing to let your ego get in the way of learning how to “not let your ego” get in the way!
Egos are an interesting part of our personalities.
Ego is often misquoted in the context of which it was intended to mean according to the great father of Psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud.
You see, the “ego” according to Freud was a part of a 3 tier personality comprised of the Id, Ego and Super Ego.
The id was the basis of the pleasure principle or instant gratification.
The id wants what it wants when it wants it. The super ego on the other hand was the psychological parent. Its duty was to be punitive and act like a bossy parent.
The ego was viewed as the mediator between these two components – always trying to keep a harmonious balance in the mind to keep people both happy and sane. Ironically, in today’s society Freud’s ego is usually not viewed as the “mediator” and peacemaker of personality. Conversely, it is often perceived as an extremely bossy, “know it all” or driven by the need to “feel right” because it provides power, control… a sense of instant gratification!
When you look at its modern day context, you see that “ego driven” people have ids and super egos that rule and get misinterpreted as “ego“–the sound mediators.
So, let’s then pretend your ego is the overbearing id and super ego which makes you come across as having “too much ego“. What does it mean? In a nutshell, it means you often times need to “Feel right or be right all of the time“, “Get the last word in“, and feel like “top dog“, at least in terms psychologically speaking.
With that said, what is the best way to get around falling into the “ego trap“?
Would you believe it if I told you it is so easy to correct, but probably most difficult to accept. Well, here goes… Don’t take anything personally!
You see, “ego” is all about taking things personally. We tend to place people’s actions and thinking into our way of thinking and perceiving which causes trouble for all, especially the one doing it. This is when ego gets in the way.
We all look at others to understand us and accept everything we do or say. We expect them to do the same for us. In reality, we all see one another differently, through our own perceptions based on who we are and how we want things and people to be. As soon as you are able to stop taking things personally, you stop being “egocentric“.
A very famous, wise person once taught me the best way to win any argument from the outset is to say, “You’re right and I am wrong.” You see, most people argue and don’t even know what they are arguing about, rather they just want to feel powerful and get their point across.
When you tell another person who loves to argue that they are right, it not only confuses them, it frustrates them. Guess what? They don’t want to argue with you anymore because you’re no fun for them!
Dealing with Ego is one of the fundamental topics I cover in my Confidence and Self-Esteem Hypnosis Program.
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