Overcoming a Troubled Childhood – Moving Beyond Adult Chains
by Erika Slater
This trouble they experienced in their childhood may have persisted and prevented them from evolving into happy, positive young adults, and they’ve ended-up carrying this burden into their adult lives.
The fact is, if you’ve experienced much hurt, abuse or even abandonment, this can create major issues for you until you work on getting them resolved.
These issues can lead to insecurities, trust issues, resentment, and even anger or depression. This is what many people accept as their realities and just go on living as a continuation of childhood.
But it doesn’t have to stay this way, and should not. You’re not the same person you were as a child.
THE MANY REASONS FOR A TROUBLED CHILDHOOD:
Many incidents and events surrounding folks with issues occurred early on in life when they experienced some kind of abandonment/rejection from a parent or community, or they encountered personal loss, perhaps the death of a loved one or trauma through an event they witnessed or were involved in.
Kids may also have experienced physical or verbal abuse at home, an alcoholic parent or mental illness in the family and kept it a secret and still carrying it around with them today.
Some individuals may have been raised in a household where nice clothing, shoes, toys and opportunities were hard to come by and other children who were more fortunate, made fun of them and belittled them.
This could have led to rejection by their peers, or made them feel unwanted and worthless. This then further evolved into creating a negative self-concept, and additionally winding up perpetuating low self-esteem.
While this was happening, individuals who experienced troubled childhoods accepted this as their realities, basically feeling hopeless and helpless. They bought into the irrational notion this was indeed the hand of cards they were dealt by life, and this is the way life was meant to be for them – unkind and difficult.
The longer one stays in this mindset, the more likely they’re going to interpret or project most, if not all situations, experiences and even people as being similar to what they experienced in the past.
This is to say, when something happens remotely similar or close enough to an unfortunate experience they had as a child, they start to have flashbacks and feel and act the way they did in those previous experiences.
Furthermore, if they start to feel the way they did all over again, they begin to ‘project’ their negative feelings toward those they feel or believe are out to hurt them, even though these people have no idea what’s going on.
In psychology, this is referred to as ‘transference’, treating people who remind you of someone else who affected you negatively from your past, or from another current relationship.
This is what often times happens when individuals have not let go of their troubled past.
OVERCOMING YOUR TROUBLED CHILDHOOD:
One of the ways to begin overcoming your troubled childhood is to accept what happened as being in the past, and it really has no bearing on the present. You’re the only one who’s able to re-experience it and feel it continually and so you have a choice.
Of course, accepting is easier said than done and really does depend on the trauma created by your childhood events.
Counseling is one method for dealing with your scars, as you might just need to talk through it and get all of the negative feelings out. For those dealing with abuse or severe trauma of any type therapeutic help in this day and age is appropriate. Chose a therapist wisely as you need to feel they’re a friend and not a cold clinician.
Consider writing to heal. If you enjoy writing, then over a week write each day about your childhood adversity as you remember it and don’t hold back. Nobody is going to read it and you can destroy it after it’s completed. The reasoning behind this exercise is it becomes therapeutic to write about the event and what you remember, and how it affected you at the time and continues to do so today.
Mindfulness is another tool to help reduce the stress you may be suffering. While mindfulness it seems has reached saturation point in the U.S. with it even being used as a tool in the corporate world to churn out happy and healthy employees who are more productive, it can be extremely beneficial to quieten the mind. (See resource section below for a link to a free download.)
Hypnosis can also be helpful in that it can allow you to ‘re-experience’ old experiences, but “trick” your unconscious mind into seeing better, positive outcomes.
Remember, the unconscious mind accepts what it’s given as the truth.
Seek out a hypnotherapist who has experience in helping people overcome troubles childhood’s. Make sure you spend time interviewing them as you want to ensure you don’t get a cold clinical therapist but one who is empathetic to your adversities and circumstances. If you want to consider working directly with me on developing healthy patterns, through my online or in-office sessions, then check out my Special Hypnosis Services Programs.
Alternatively, if you’d like to try a product to develop healthy thought patterns, then check out this self-hypnosis session available here >>>
OTHER RESOURCES RELATED TO TROUBLED CHILDHOOD:
Erika Slater CH
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