Stop Overthinking So Much – How to Get Rid Of the “Why’s”
by Erika Slater
Do you find you lock onto certain thoughts or things from the past and can’t seem to let them go – your thoughts are like a piece of steak in the mouth of a junkyard dog… and it’s not about to be let go of it no matter how hard you tug?
You may have what some experts refer to as ‘paralysis by analysis!’
This may sound ridiculous but it’s not for the individual who goes through this, especially in the evening when they’re trying to sleep, and this keeps them up all night tossing and turning – trying to figure things out, or looking for perfect answers.
One thing we do know for sure is people who overthink usually are ‘obsessed’ with one word that starts their sentences, which causes them to overthink. That one word is “WHY”.
When you start using too many ‘Why’s’ in your vocabulary or thought process, it means you’re looking for definitive, or exact answers, and you’ll engage in your endless search for these, even if it leads to unnecessary worry and stress!
HOW DID YOU GET TO OVERTHINKING TOO MUCH?
Often times it was either intentionally or unintentionally caused by parents or primary care-givers (even teachers or coaches) who demanded too much of them. Intentionally, they may have been told repeatedly nothing less than perfect is acceptable.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with being encouraged to be your best. Always giving your best effort and striving to improve and learn to get better is the path of champions. Some folks have the “fire in the belly” already and others need a nudge… sometimes a big nudge.
But in some cases, folks may have even been chastised or punished for not making perfect.
Conversely, they may have had older siblings who were high achievers, very successful parents, or situations that caused them as children to assume too much responsibility, and this unintentionally led them to develop ‘perfectionist’ tendencies where they always felt the need to over-analyze, second guess themselves, or ruminate on thoughts until they became painstakingly, mentally exhausted.
This became a lifestyle approach for their thinking. This became their realities!
A common parenting mistake that can also cause this in childhood and adolescence is the comparison urge. If parents are always talking about other relations or neighborhood kids and comparing their own kids with the “mythical academic or angelic behaviors” of others, then the unspoken word is “you’re not good enough for me.”
This can cause the child/teenage to reject the comparison altogether or develop an unhealthy focus of overthinking before moving forward on an activity for fear of making a mistake and being seen as people whose opinion matters as “not being good enough.”
So how can we get out of this overthinking conundrum?
WAYS TO STOP OVERTHINKING SO MUCH:
The first way to overcome overthinking so much is to get rid of that dirty word ‘Why’ at the start of all of your questions.
In fact, stop asking yourself so many questions, especially ones that require definitive, exact answers which for all intents and purposes don’t have any in the first place. It sounds so simple, but it’s so difficult for so many people to let go of the ‘Why’s’ in life.
Things happen, and sometimes there’s no why. And not to sound cold, but get over it! Smokers who have tried “everything” to quit get tied-up in the why and believe they’re destined to be a smoker and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. This just isn’t true!
If you need to make an important decision put a time limit on when you’ll make the decision. Psychologists tell us that once we’ve made a decision our actions tend to support that decision which allows us to move on from thinking about the choice.
Relaxing properly before sleep can be as simple as practicing a few minutes of meditation, hypnosis (see more below) or mindfulness as your last activity before sleep. It may seem trite but invest in a comfortable bed mattress and pillows – you’re going to spend a third of your life there anyways so be as comfortable as you can be.
Hypnosis is an exceptional method for dealing with overthinking, especially when you’re trying to get to sleep at night.
If you have racing thoughts you can’t seem to shut down, hypnosis can be used to relax the mind, and also can lead you to focus on relaxing thoughts and images.
The thoughts that normally set your mind racing can be used as triggers through post-hypnotic suggestions to lead you to more tranquil, peaceful, positive mindsets.
Furthermore, hypnosis can help you get rid of the terrible ‘Why’s!” If you’re interested in more information about my own online or in-office confidence and self-esteem hypnosis program then click here or contact me here.
If you feel you’re stuck in the “paralysis by analysis” because you just get too deep in your information search to make the perfect decision, then here’s also some self-hypnosis help for you here >>>
FURTHER RESOURCES TO HELP STOP OVERTHINKING:
Erika Slater CH
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