Loving Your Imperfect Partner
by Peter Sacco
Don’t you just wish you could meet the person of your dreams, or already have the partner of your dreams? You know the one that is in every way, shape and form perfect!
The problem with this thinking is that if your partner is “perfect” then they are infallible and therefore since they know what perfection is, then they will expect the same from you… perfection!
Are you perfect?
Okay, get out of your ego for a moment and ask yourself, “Am I really that perfect?” Well, the honest and only answer is no… no one is perfect!
So with that said, you can’t hope for perfection in your partner just like you don’t want to hold yourself accountable for being imperfect! So where do you go from here?
Did you know that most times when we see or look for the imperfections and flaws in others that we are displacing our own flaws onto people? That’s right! It’s like noticing the splinter in the other person’s eye, but not observing the plank that is protruding from your own eye. Incidentally, most times, the one whose imperfections you are pointing out usually doesn’t point out your imperfections because they accept you as you are.
That is what unconditional love is all about!
It’s funny that in the beginning often times the things that you didn’t like in a partner grow on you and you start to find a cute quality in your partner’s quirks, or at least find them tolerable.
It is when you feel frustrated or stressed, and when the relationship may be going through some difficulties is when you begin noticing the imperfections and they can become irritating to you. It is when you are frustrated and stressed that you become less happy and satisfied with your own life that you begin to look for faults in others.
Let’s face it, you know that your partner loves you and will put up with your nitpicking and insults.
That being said, your partner becomes a safe target to displace the hostilities that you have within and direct them outward. It is easier to blame or dislike something about another person, than it is to work on what you don’t like about yourself.
No one is perfect.
All people make mistakes and have flaws. Each year someone lives and becomes older, they should also become wiser.
No one ever said that someone had to love you or accept you. Yet, the partner you may be looking for flaws in accepts and loves you. That is an awesome gift.
When you shift your stance to acknowledging and accepting the fact that someone in this world loves you and thinks that you are great, that should make you feel great! You should be brimming over with love and joy that someone thought you were “worthy” to love, even with your own faults and flaws!
Always look for the beauty in others, especially your partner. When your focus is on that, there is no room for imperfection in your field of vision.
Count yourself blessed that you have someone who has their own blinders on toward what you don’t like about yourself!
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES RELATED TO PARTNERS:
Peter Andrew Sacco Ph.D.
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