Fear of Conflict and Confrontation
by Peter Sacco
Are you an individual who is afraid to speak their mind, worried what others might think or how they might respond?
Do you worry that if you speak the truth, or tell someone how you are really thinking that you might “scare” them off or lose them as a friend? Are their times when you really wanted to speak up, but instead bite your tongue, only to stew or regret not saying something hours after, or even days later?
If you have answered “yes” to any of these questions then you may possess a fear of confrontation – saying what is really on your mind.
When you live in fear of confrontation, you are not living the life you were meant to live, that is one of being assertive – getting and having what you really want in life while respecting the rights and feelings of others. Instead, you are engaging in a life of passivity which is the opposite – allowing others to take advantage of you, walk all over you, disrespect your feelings, and even use you.
By being passive and avoiding conflict and confrontation whereby you really want to say what is on your mind, you are denying yourself the very right to express yourself.
Everyone has the right and freedom to express themselves in appropriate ways whereby you voice your opinion, desires or needs to another person in respectful, sincere and honest ways.
Many avoid doing this because they believe confrontation will lead to conflict and this will cause a big ruckus or argument, potentially a fight. When you engage in life this way, you do not only not get what you don’t want, you basically tell others that you are a push over and can “be had” – they can manipulate and control you.
Most people who become passive and avoid confrontation also become very bitter and hateful towards others, especially those whom they perceive as taking advantage of them.
You see when you engaging in repeated avoidance, the message you are sending out is that you are easily used and manipulated. This causes others to believe that you are a pushover and that they can disrespect you. Conversely, you are mad at others for treating you this way, when all along you are really angry deep down inside because you know you should be speaking your mind and standing up for yourself.
Sometimes, people have to get to a point of being sick and tired of being sick and tired of being used before they are really able to speak their minds. Unfortunately, most times when it gets to this point, you literally explode from keeping the negative feelings in for so long.
Instead of waiting to over-react because you are “fed up“, you can do something in the meantime by visualizing becoming the assertive person that you want to be. If you have trouble with this, practice with friends or family you can trust by role playing ways that you would like to respond or behave.
If you need hands on training in terms of assertiveness, there are assertiveness training classes, or by visiting a trained hypnotherapist a couple of times, you can have your mind retrained to possess assertive thoughts which will instantly change the way you perceive things or respond. If you want to discuss working directly with us on your particular issue to see if we can help and advise you on a next step, then check out our Hypnosis Services or you can contact us here.
Alternately, if you prefer a self-hypnosis product then check out this hypnosis MP3 session that can help retrain your mind here.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES RELATED TO CONFLICT CONFRONTATION:
Peter Andrew Sacco Ph.D.
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