Expectations Versus Reality – Setting the Right Intentions

by Erika Slater

Woman feeling disappointed or sad

Are you a person who aims high – shoots for the moon and hopes to at least land among the stars?

Do you believe you deserve the best life has to offer you?

That’s a wonderful way to think about yourself, and about getting and being your best self.

But if you don’t set the bar high for yourself, then you’re more likely to aim way too low. And when you aim low, you ‘ll most likely achieve your goals because they’re much more easily achievable.

Over time, you may become ‘comfortable’ with what you achieve by ‘aiming low’ because there is minimal risk involved, and you’re less likely to fail.

Of course – like most things – there’s a balance and we each have to find our own risk tolerance. In this balance then comes expectations versus reality and that’s what I’ll discuss today.



Couple stressing over debt and billsSo, there’s a constant battle going on between aiming high and missing, or being always risk averse and shooting low and always making it! Failure or success. Growing or stagnating.

Some folks – particularly those who always aim high, might refer to choosing the risk averse path as a ‘barely getting by’ approach to living. But if it works for you and your content and satisfied living this way, then good for you – but if you’re not content then read on…

Then there are people who go the other way, in they set the bar (their expectations) so high they’re constantly disappointed with their lack of achievements and outcomes.

Basically, their expectations are distorted according to their realities.

There is a saying that is applicable to economics and personal expenditures that asserts, “one should live within their means.”

This is sound advice for people who have ‘beer incomes, but champagne tastes’ in that they spend ridiculously more money than they earn, thus always being in over their heads in debt.

This same analogy can be applied to setting goals and expectations.

Take people who smoke for example and come to me to quit. Some have expectations that I will take their smoking habit away from them and make them smoke-free with no effort on their part. The reality, as I convey, is that you have put in as much effort to quit as I do to be successful. Those who do stop smoking realize this and so their expectation matches reality.

You need to set goals and expectations based on your current as well as potential capabilities and skill sets – stretch goals are encouraged but there’s a fine line when it comes to your expectation versus reality.

Often time our realities rarely match expectations when they’re too high – expecting others to be a certain way, or relying too much on others, or even depending on unrealistic economics in business ventures.

This is what will lead to your disappointments.

If something sounds too good to be true then likely it is. While I don’t think being paranoid is a good way to live, the fact is… there are people out there to get your money. But people have made millions by investing in the right thing at the right time so check out and do your research and be prepared with your expectations.

Conversely, you should never settle, set your expectations too low and merely live your life by proxy, waiting for things to come to you, or happen to you. Instead, you should always be acting and setting intentions.

When setting your expectations, they should be realistic according to you being the primary actor. Don’t set expectations that involve others as you cannot control them. Furthermore, do not try to pigeonhole people into your schemes, or try to change them. This goes against free will.

Intentions rule the world when it comes to setting realistic expectations.



Stretch goals signOf course, your intentions (expectations) need to be realistic. If you’re 40 years old and dream about being a starting pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, that ship has most likely already sailed. Most likely, you don’t have that skill set at that age.

If you set the expectation to be a pitcher in a ‘local league’, then you’re more likely to succeed in that quest. This doesn’t mean choosing any local league to ultimately play in but one you feel overtime will stretch you to get into.

Another example, and one I deal with all the time, is helping folks lose weight being realistic about how quickly they’ll get to their right size.

If they’re 100lbs overweight and been like that for many years, then they’re not going to get to their right weight in a few months as many expect. The habits that got them overweight need small steps to overcome and so a much longer period is needed.

Waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right to come along is my final example as its very common. We have a fantasy about what we want in a partner but we tend to get this from movies, TV and magazines, and these don’t give us realistic experiences. Even movie stars are constantly having relationship problems so they’re mostly not meeting their expectations or necessarily good role models. We are each unique but human and come with flaws.

It’s okay to set the bar high for yourself, or in business as they call a stretch goal, but be sure to understand your current limitations and what you’ll need to change and overcome when you set those.

If you’re struggling with getting a vision, setting intentions, then you may opt for trying hypnosis. Sometimes we carry old perceptions, mindsets and mental scripts that are the ones we continually turn to in our unconscious minds.

Hypnosis can help change those, as well as creating or unlocking new mindsets.

For further help seek out a local hypnotist in your area or if you want to consider working directly with me on new mindsets to set realistic expectations through my online or in-office sessions, then check out my Special Hypnosis Services Programs.

Alternatively, if you want to try self-hypnosis as a way to reset realistic expectations for yourself to avoid constant disappointment then check this session out here >>>



How to Achieve Stellar Success in Life – Erika Slater >>>

Stop Smoking Hypnosis Session – What to Expect for Success >>>

Stop Overthinking So Much – How to Get Rid Of the Whys >>>

Who is the Perfect Partner – Psychology Today >>>

Library of Self-Hypnosis Downloads Products >>>


Erika Slater CH
Free At Last Hypnosis

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Interested in making a significant change in your life and interested in learning more about what I do and how I do it? Discover my hypnotherapy services here or contact me here.

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