Belief Changing

Erika Slater headshot photo 300x300

Belief changing is about recognizing we limit what we achieve by our beliefs – limiting beliefs – and doing something about it to change.

We are not born with beliefs but acquire them during childhood through experiences and the environment in which we grow up. Many of our beliefs come from our parents and immediate family. The fact that we “learn them” provides an opportunity to “unlearn” those that are limiting and replace them with beliefs that support our personal growth.

But belief changing not only supports self-improvement it also helps overcome poor habits and addictions, health and wellness aspirations, and treatments we would not otherwise consider to resolve barriers and stubborn challenges holding us back.

The selection of materials you’ll find here provide help in starting down the path of changing beliefs that no longer support you.

Enjoy the articles.

How to Get a Natural Anti-Aging Attitude to Feel Younger

By Erika Slater
Portrait of a smiling senior woman

Portrait of a smiling senior woman

There is a term that exists in today’s society referred to as ‘ageism’. Personally, I consider this term condescending in its tone as it refers to older people in a negative, stereotypical manner. It assumes when you reach a certain age you’re ‘past it.’

What does “past it” even mean in today’s society? Past what?

Young people picture seniors as needing walking canes, inflexible and bent over, and shuffling along both in the house and outside. The sun has set on them.

When people are called weak, feeble, frail, and even useless just because they’re ‘older’, they’re being labeled based on this stereotype.

This is both wrong and sad!

But what is even sadder is when older people ‘buy” into this stereotype, believing it to be the truth they start behaving and living accordingly.

Image is one thing, but attitude is everything.

Attitude is based on an ‘inside job’, it’s what you believe to be true about yourself, and what you’ll act out and thereby become.

Isn’t time to develop an anti-aging attitude so you don’t fall into this trap and never feel old.

While I’m not going to suggest at 70-years of age you can expect to win the next Olympic Games Marathon, or play in right field for the Boston Red Sox – at the moment Mookie Betts has that one locked-up anyway – but I certainly have seen 70-year-old clients in my hypnosis business who look lean, fit and have the skin of a much younger person.

But it’s not how they looked that dictated how I viewed them, but their attitude of themselves and how they feel about their life.

So, how can you do the same?

 

DON’T GET SOLD THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH:

Mature woman applying anti-aging creamDon’t buy into ‘Fountain of Youth’ elixirs and creams, and even cosmetic surgeries, as making you feel younger. The irony of it all is, many ‘feel old’ already and this is why they’re engaging in these methods to try to stay young looking… but they still, sadly, feel old.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t care about how you look and by all means use products and eat healthy foods that preserve your looks, but don’t use them and expect to replace how you feel.

The problem is not with their bodies growing older, as much as it’s with our attitude and outlook on life growing old.

Have you ever heard of the expression, “You’re only as old as you feel or believe you are?” Age is nothing more than a chronological number.

And how, and what, you perceive it based on your attitude, can and will make you feel much ‘older’ if you let it!

The question is… are you willing to remain ‘forever young’ at heart? Are you willing to feel more youthful again?

Did you know feeling, being, and acting positive can make you not just feel energetic, but also make you feel more youthful? Life is too short at any age to not be mindful of your time. It’s how you live in your life which make it more enjoyable… or merely tolerable.

When people reach certain ages, it appears some believe life is no longer about enjoying, rather about enduring and existing…waiting it out!

This can’t be further from the truth. Many people get a second life after 60-years and achieve a lot more in their next phase of life than they did in their first 60 or 70 years.

How did they do this?

It all came down to their state of mind – their attitude!

 

GETTING TO A YOUTHFUL STATE OF MIND:

Confident older woman with hand on faceHow can you go about getting this energy, vigor and positive state of mind back?

Eating well and keeping fit are foundational for keeping your body in good order as it ages. You need to do this, but on their own, neither of these will get you to the attitude and state of mind you need as well.

Meditation or Mindfulness, Yoga, and Hypnosis are all ways to help you to get into a Natural Anti-Aging Attitude. There’s nothing to stop you doing all three, but I’d recommend you pick one to start and see how it goes for you, and add the others once you’ve mastered one.

I’ve put some links in the resource section below on these ways to get you started [1] [2] [3].

Naturally I think Hypnosis is a great method for achieving this and you can do hypnosis at any age.

In fact, what better time to do it than in the here and now, especially if you now have the time!

Why not make better use of that time and begin to feel younger?

Hypnosis can help you feel younger again by nixing the negative thoughts and attitudes you have about your age.

You see, one’s mind can become patterned into thinking a certain way when it does so for a period of time. If at some point you reached an age you or someone else thought was ‘old’, or that you were ‘getting older’, and should start thinking, acting and feeling a certain way according to that age, then you might have set that as the parameter for how you are act and feel going forward.

It becomes your state of mind.

However, hypnosis can tap into your unconscious mind and help eradicate those preconceived notions of ‘feeling old’, and implant new and lively perceptions of yourself thinking, feeling and acting young or younger!

While affirmations are sometimes used incorrectly there is a right way of using them [4], and these can be reinforced in a hypnosis session particularly to create a positive attitude about your life, future and age.

Getting started on hypnosis is as easy contacting a local hypnotist and finding one who will teach you self-hypnosis so you can make it part of your daily routine moving forward. I teach self-hypnosis to many of my clients as a way for them to reinforce and expand what they originally came to see me for help with. If you’d like more information on working directly with me then check out my Hypnosis Services here >>> which I offer online or in-office depending on where you live.

An alternative is to download a hypnosis session to listen on your MP3 device. You can check out a hypnosis session on obtaining a positive outlook on life here >>> [5]

 

A FINAL WORD:

Western culture generally celebrates and promotes the promise of youth, at the expense of our seniors.

This isn’t so true in many eastern cultures where the old are revered and respected for their experience, wisdom and past and ongoing contributions. You could say its all about a state of mind, and instead of believing what is fed from our culture about expectations for our age, we need to start taking charge about our own attitude of our age to meet our own expectations rather than what others expect of us.

If you intend to live well into your nineties – as I intend – then having a longevity attitude today is more likely to help you get there.

Let me know how you enjoyed this article.

 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR ANTI-AGING:

[1] Increasing or Starting your Meditation Motivation >>>

[2] Introduction to Mindfulness – Part 1 >>>

[3] Hypnosis is Yoga for the Mind – Flexibility for Your Brain >>>

[4] Do Affirmations Really Work? – The Good & Bad of Affirmations >>>

[5] Transform your life with a positive attitude >>>

Natural Anti-Aging – Turning Back the Clock to Feel Younger >>>

Library of Self-Hypnosis Downloads Products >>>

 
Erika Slater
Free At Last Hypnosis
Massachusetts

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Expectations Versus Reality – Setting the Right Intentions

By Erika Slater
Woman feeling disappointed or sad

Woman feeling disappointed or sad

Are you a person who aims high – shoots for the moon and hopes to at least land among the stars?

Do you believe you deserve the best life has to offer you?

That’s a wonderful way to think about yourself, and about getting and being your best self.

But if you don’t set the bar high for yourself, then you’re more likely to aim way too low. And when you aim low, you ‘ll most likely achieve your goals because they’re much more easily achievable.

Over time, you may become ‘comfortable’ with what you achieve by ‘aiming low’ because there is minimal risk involved, and you’re less likely to fail.

Of course – like most things – there’s a balance and we each have to find our own risk tolerance. In this balance then comes expectations versus reality and that’s what I’ll discuss today.

 

THE BATTLE BETWEEN OUR EXPECTATIONS AND OUR REALITY:

Couple stressing over debt and billsSo, there’s a constant battle going on between aiming high and missing, or being always risk averse and shooting low and always making it! Failure or success. Growing or stagnating.

Some folks – particularly those who always aim high, might refer to choosing the risk averse path as a ‘barely getting by’ approach to living. But if it works for you and your content and satisfied living this way, then good for you – but if you’re not content then read on…

Then there are people who go the other way, in they set the bar (their expectations) so high they’re constantly disappointed with their lack of achievements and outcomes.

Basically, their expectations are distorted according to their realities.

There is a saying that is applicable to economics and personal expenditures that asserts, “one should live within their means.”

This is sound advice for people who have ‘beer incomes, but champagne tastes’ in that they spend ridiculously more money than they earn, thus always being in over their heads in debt.

This same analogy can be applied to setting goals and expectations.

Take people who smoke for example and come to me to quit. Some have expectations that I will take their smoking habit away from them and make them smoke-free with no effort on their part. The reality, as I convey, is that you have put in as much effort to quit as I do to be successful. Those who do stop smoking realize this and so their expectation matches reality.

You need to set goals and expectations based on your current as well as potential capabilities and skill sets – stretch goals are encouraged but there’s a fine line when it comes to your expectation versus reality.

Often time our realities rarely match expectations when they’re too high – expecting others to be a certain way, or relying too much on others, or even depending on unrealistic economics in business ventures.

This is what will lead to your disappointments.

If something sounds too good to be true then likely it is. While I don’t think being paranoid is a good way to live, the fact is… there are people out there to get your money. But people have made millions by investing in the right thing at the right time so check out and do your research and be prepared with your expectations.

Conversely, you should never settle, set your expectations too low and merely live your life by proxy, waiting for things to come to you, or happen to you. Instead, you should always be acting and setting intentions.

When setting your expectations, they should be realistic according to you being the primary actor. Don’t set expectations that involve others as you cannot control them. Furthermore, do not try to pigeonhole people into your schemes, or try to change them. This goes against free will.

Intentions rule the world when it comes to setting realistic expectations.

 

SETTING YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND REALISTIC INTENTIONS:

Stretch goals signOf course, your intentions (expectations) need to be realistic. If you’re 40 years old and dream about being a starting pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, that ship has most likely already sailed. Most likely, you don’t have that skill set at that age.

If you set the expectation to be a pitcher in a ‘local league’, then you’re more likely to succeed in that quest. This doesn’t mean choosing any local league to ultimately play in but one you feel overtime will stretch you to get into.

Another example, and one I deal with all the time, is helping folks lose weight being realistic about how quickly they’ll get to their right size.

If they’re 100lbs overweight and been like that for many years, then they’re not going to get to their right weight in a few months as many expect. The habits that got them overweight need small steps to overcome and so a much longer period is needed.

Waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right to come along is my final example as its very common. We have a fantasy about what we want in a partner but we tend to get this from movies, TV and magazines, and these don’t give us realistic experiences. Even movie stars are constantly having relationship problems so they’re mostly not meeting their expectations or necessarily good role models. We are each unique but human and come with flaws.

It’s okay to set the bar high for yourself, or in business as they call a stretch goal, but be sure to understand your current limitations and what you’ll need to change and overcome when you set those.

If you’re struggling with getting a vision, setting intentions, then you may opt for trying hypnosis. Sometimes we carry old perceptions, mindsets and mental scripts that are the ones we continually turn to in our unconscious minds.

Hypnosis can help change those, as well as creating or unlocking new mindsets.

For further help seek out a local hypnotist in your area or if you want to consider working directly with me on new mindsets to set realistic expectations through my online or in-office sessions, then check out my Special Hypnosis Services Programs.

Alternatively, if you want to try self-hypnosis as a way to reset realistic expectations for yourself to avoid constant disappointment then check this session out here >>>

 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR SETTING THE RIGHT INTENTIONS:

How to Achieve Stellar Success in Life – Erika Slater >>>

Stop Smoking Hypnosis Session – What to Expect for Success >>>

Stop Overthinking So Much – How to Get Rid Of the Whys >>>

Who is the Perfect Partner – Psychology Today >>>

Library of Self-Hypnosis Downloads Products >>>

 

Erika Slater CH
Free At Last Hypnosis
Massachusetts

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How to Stop Negative Thought Patterns and Reprogram Your Thinking

By Erika Slater
Negative Thinking on Napkin Saying

Negative Thinking on Napkin Saying

Are you the type of person who tends to, “hope for the best, but expect the worst”?

Okay, perhaps your thinking patterns are more negative than that as you mostly thinking about, and are expecting, the worst nine or ten out of ten times because you’re conditioned to disappointment, and let downs from past experiences.

Do your past mistakes and experiences keep you rooted in this negativity, rendering you helpless to feel like there’s a continual ‘black cloud’ following you around?

If so, then this article make help you begin to break out of this rout!

You don’t have to live in the world of negative thoughts forever. You can start to create a mental shift immediately to help your thoughts become more positive.

But to change our thoughts it helps us first to understand where negative thoughts or thinking patterns come from…

 

HOW DO WE END UP IN NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS?

Same Old Thinking on BlackboardGenerally speaking, they’re manifested, created or developed from past negative experiences.

Now we all have rough days or weeks where things just don’t seem to go our way. One negative experience just stacks on top of another until we feel like hiding away for a while. We don’t live in a five-star world where everything is just wonderful and positive every minute of every day. Right?

While this may bring our mood down for a while we know it’s temporary and expect things to get better.

It’s like the difference between feeling sad for a while and being in deep depression.

In fact, those who are diagnosed with depression have a tendency to also be stuck in negative thought patterns. If you feel stuck in a depression then you should seek medical advice as you may need professional intervention to help get you out.

Often times, negative thoughts started out from experiencing mistakes, criticisms or even personal threats, which may have been psychological in nature. The events may have been so negative or powerful you couldn’t shake them from your attention, and you continued to think about them. Finally, they became your center of attention.

Tell a child repeatedly they’re bad in their early years for long enough and they’ll eventually believe it! The child that’s compared unfavorably to other children eventually “gets the message” – I’m not as good as others.

The longer this persisted, the more likely your thinking pattern became tainted with negativity.

Embarrassed Child in ClassroomDid you know that it takes roughly 21-28 days to create positive or negative habits? If you continued to focus on your negative experience(s), then you started to create a ‘habit’ of looking for the negative or bad in most, if not all, your experiences.

You see, thinking patterns become your reality. Your lenses of perception (mental, emotional and psychological) become intent, even content, with only focusing on the negative.

Thoughts become things, and where thoughts go… your energy flows.

If you’re continually looking at situations as being negative, then guess what? You’ll find the negative in them as your energies will either draw them to you, or you’ll create them!

The longer you become grounded in this way of thinking, feeling and acting, you’ll limit your life’s experiences – they’ll become cynical, pessimistic, negative or even paralyzing. Some individuals will become rendered so helpless they’ll never act on the opportunities, or take the chances, challenges, or even risks needed to not only succeed in life, but also enjoy life to the fullest.

Bottom line: negative thinking can keep you sitting on the sidelines of life watching others succeed because you’re so worried about making mistakes or failing!

But it doesn’t have to be this way…

 

REPROGRAM YOUR WAY OF THINKING TO POSITIVE THOUGHTS:

Thougts Feelings Concept ImageYou CAN reprogram your thinking and though it’s easier than you think, you’re not going to erase a lifetime of negative patterns overnight. It will take time but there are steps you can take to start the process and begin to change your life.

The first step is identifying you have negative thinking patterns hindering you. With that said, you need to start monitoring your negative thoughts.

Ask yourself, “what is thinking this way getting me?” Most likely, nothing and moving you nowhere fast! The key is to stop negative thoughts as soon as they come into your mind and shift your focus onto something positive.

Monitoring your thoughts can be tricky though – easy to spot after the fact but difficult when you’re in the middle of it.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a system to help change your thoughts and I’ve provided a link below in the resource section for you to learn more about CBT.

Once you become adept at catching yourself ruminating on negative thoughts then use these techniques to distract you away from them.

Visualize yourself in a store and go shopping for whatever is your fancy – food, books, games, clothes, etc. Whatever you enjoy shopping for picture this in your mind thoughts and focus. If shopping doesn’t “float your boat” then think of a concert or other entertainment your recently enjoyed and take yourself back there.

Look around at who you’re spending time with, and if these folks also possess mostly negative thoughts as well then find yourself new company. People can drag you down and let’s face it we tend to mix with folks that think and act the same. At the very least their negative worry habits could rub off on you. Surrounding yourself with people who think positively, and operate in a supportive way, can make a big difference in changing your habits of thinking.

Reframe in Word CloudReframe the thought making you think negatively. Look for the positive in a bad situation. For example, if you’re stuck in traffic and start the walk down the “woe is me” path then look at it as an opportunity to use this time to learn. Listen to a podcast or a radio program where you can learn something new. This will redirect your negative thoughts.

If you’re still struggling with monitoring your negative thoughts and changing them, then hypnosis can be a powerful solution. Hypnosis can help you to change up negative thoughts and shift your attention to positive thoughts and outcomes.

Interestingly, you can be taught through hypnosis that whenever negative thoughts enter your mind, these become the triggers for your conscious mind to focus on something positive.

Once you do this repeatedly (over 21+ days), your unconscious mind will now have positive thought patterns from which to draw from, and eventually this will become your normal and default thought pattern.

Seek out a local hypnotherapist to do one-on-one sessions. If you want to consider working directly with me through my online or in-office sessions then check out my Special Hypnosis Services Programs.

Alternatively, you can find a self-hypnosis program for self-study. If you’re ready to stop negative thinking and enjoy a new perspective then check out this self-hypnosis session here >>>

 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES RELATED TO NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS:

Stop Fighting Your Negative Thoughts >>>

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 101 >>>

Stop Smoking Hypnosis Session – What to Expect for Success >>>

18 Tricks to Make New Habits Stick >>>

Library of Self-Hypnosis Downloads Products >>>

 
Erika Slater CH
Free At Last Hypnosis
Massachusetts

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Overcoming the Fear of Money – Breaking Deep-Rooted Barriers

By Erika Slater
Fear of Money Concept Image

Fear of Money Concept Image

What are your personal thoughts on money?

Were you ever told when you were a kid, or even reminded today that “Money is the root of all evil?”

Perhaps you were told when you were younger that “Money does not grow on trees!” which led to a mindset that money is really difficult to acquire.

If that isn’t enough, some people have been led to believe those who have the most money are born with a “silver spoon” in their back pocket, therefore having lots of money is an entitlement right.

Still more folks have bought into the notion if people are rich, then they must have acquired their wealth perhaps through illegal activities or immoral or unethical ways. News media tends to focus on the bad things people do with, or to get, money, rather than the good things – news about good things people do doesn’t seem to get viewers!

But it does tend to promote the idea there is more bad things going on with money than good. Of course, this isn’t true.

So, when you put all of these ideas of money together, you can see how some people have grown up to fear money and avoid it like the plague!

For many of us our relationship with money is complicated. Let’s see just how it got so complicated and then what we can do to change this fear…

 

SOURCES OF FEAR OF MONEY:

Here are some common reasons why people may have a fear of money…

Couple arguing over spending1. Much of what people fear most about money comes to them through parental beliefs or family outcomes, or even religious beliefs where money may raise spiritual conflicts.

2. Kids who grew up in an environment where money was scarce and caused arguments and fights between parents may end up with a negative feeling towards money and these can be difficult to break.

3. We all love stories, but many told to us in childhood have a greed and evil element where money causes one person to do harm or injustice to others. This can be impactful on young impressionable minds and can cause an unconscious and underlying fear of the negative impacts of money.

4. As we mature and get jobs we have to take care of money and invest it wisely, and if these financial decisions turn into bad investments which are devastating to our situation then these scars can follow us around for years impacting our thoughts about money and our ability to keep it.

5. We read stories about lottery winners who bought the ticket with their last dollar and won millions, only to be broke within a year or two, and cursing the day they ever won. These stories are certainly true but the stories don’t mention those that were financially astute and invested the money for their own good and those of others. Again, as the old saying goes… good news doesn’t sell papers!

Love of Money QuoteBut there is nothing wrong with having money, and lots of it!

The problem is to use a religious assertion, is when you let money become your god, and the bane of your existence. You see the quote earlier that “Money is the root of all evil” is a misquote from the scriptures as it said “The love of money is the root of all evil.” A different sentiment entirely.

While we have stories of people, particularly in the religious context, shedding all their worldly goods, including money, so they can live a “clean” existence, for most of us this isn’t feasible, or frankly isn’t something most of us want to do.

Money can be used to live a better, more comfortable life, thus achieving your dreams, creating financial security for you and your family’s future, and helping others who are less fortunate.

 

OVERCOMING THE FEAR OF MONEY:

Money for DonationsSo, this section isn’t about how to accumulate wealth. I’m not qualified to help anybody in that area especially when I’m challenged balancing my checking account… and don’t get me started on my credit cards!

However, I do want to discuss ways to overcome any barriers or limiting beliefs you may have on your relationship with money so it’s a healthy one.

At its root, money is nothing more than currency.

This currency in essence is “energy” that changes hands. Think about it this way, when you use money for the betterment of society, then you’re moving it forward in a positive manner. Perhaps an even more profound way of thinking about it – If you could share something with other people that could benefit their lives, would you want to help out as much as possible if you had the resources?

Of course, you would!

Having money is not a bad thing, rather it makes it possible for you to help out even more.

Is it possible to change your mind-set about money after all of these years and allow the opportunity for more of it to flow in your lives?

Absolutely!

Personal wealth and prosperity is a mind-set, but you’re the ‘thinker’ of your thoughts and you have to allow positive thoughts about money to flow.

Like many fears, the first step is to acknowledge your fear and discuss it with a trusted person. This can be your spouse or partner or a close friend. This helps take the stress level down so you can discuss concerns you have around money and pinpoint the cause of your angst with money. The goal is to work out with their help and input your next step for overcoming your fear.

Balancing Checkbook ImageOne of your next steps should include getting a handle on your money. We sometimes fear that which we don’t know but getting control of your money and finances forces you to understand your finances and better manager them.

It’ll be less stressful on you and your bank account.

Just because you have blank checks in your bank book doesn’t mean you can write them… right?

Your second act tackles unconscious fears you may have. If money slips through your hands easily then there may be one of those childhood stories getting in your way of hanging on to those green notes.

If you feel you’ve got a good income coming into the household, but there’s never any for vacations or entertainment and it’s all work, then time to figure out what’s going on. Is it just about spending habits – getting handle on finances in step one should confirm if it is – or is there something else going on?

If you struggle to figure out on your own what’s underpinning your fears, perhaps your unconscious mind is still blocking you or placing those old barriers in your way. After all, you’ve thought the same way for so long, and these barriers now need to be removed.

The fastest and most efficient way to unblock these barriers is through hypnosis, tapping directly into your unconscious mind and having positive thoughts and expectations about money placed there.

Just one hypnosis session can actually start lifting those barriers and awaken a new mindset about money, and attracting more of it into your life, and keeping it in your bank account to help yourself and others.

Check out a local hypnotherapist who specializes in fears or limiting beliefs, and discuss with them how they can help you. If you want to consider working directly with me on your specific issue through my online or in-office sessions around limiting beliefs, then check out my Special Hypnosis Services Programs.

Alternatively, there are self-hypnosis products available to provide sessions you can listen to in the comfort of your home as many times as you want. So, If you continue to feel like your fear of money is limiting your scope for financial success, and you’re always sabotaging your own chances of being better off then check out this self-hypnosis session here >>>

 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES RELATED TO FEARS:

Can Money Buy Happiness – The Guardian

The Truth About Limiting Beliefs and How to Overcome Them

Overcoming the Fear of Heights – Conquering Acrophobia >>>

How Your Money Mindset Affects You and How to Change It

Library of Self-Hypnosis Downloads Products >>>

 
Erika Slater CH
Free At Last Hypnosis
Massachusetts

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The Power of Words to Change your outcomes

By Erika Slater
Power of Word to Change Concept Image

Power of Word to Change Concept Image

Words captivate me. For many years of my life it was from an intellectual perspective they fascinated me. Whether it was a crossword or other word games, or understanding where a word originated, I felt secure about my command of language and words.

In my role as a hypnotist words continue to play an important aspect in my life as they help other people overcome challenges or be a better self. The sentences I form using carefully chosen words now help to heal or aid change in others. So words are now important to me in the work I do.

There is only one thing more powerful than the spoken word heard by others… and those are the words you speak to yourself.

What words do you use to describe or talk about yourself? What words are you using to create your realities?

Remember, thoughts eventually become things, spoken words are thoughts. Are you creating your life wisely?

 

WHAT DO YOUR WORDS SAY ABOUT YOU?

If you had to describe yourself in a couple of sentences, what would you say about yourself?

Would you use words that are positive or neutral, or perhaps even negative and self-deprecating?

Good Dog Concept ImageInterestingly, people too often talk about themselves as others have described them, or what others have ‘accused‘ them of being – in negative terms. When you’re told you ‘are‘ something long enough, you start to believe it.

Unfortunately, what many people are taught, or told as children, stick with them (negative appraisals, put downs and false accusations) and they carry them into their adult lives, never changing or challenging them. This then becomes their accepted realities as they continually speak the same negative words, or accept old outdated appraisals of themselves.

Today this thought process is known as ‘stinking thinking‘, which leads to low self-esteem and feeling insignificant!

Your life and achievement is all about your attitude and perception of yourself.

Way too many people adopt the ‘puppet‘ attitude in that they believe they’re being controlled by some supreme puppeteer who continually yanks on their strings, or tells them what to do or what they should say. This often times is related to the experiences of the past that people carry with them in the present, leading them to the future.

You are and become your “I am!

Everyone carries around with them an inner voice.

When you’re awake, your self-talk is often of a conscious nature, but there is also unconscious self-talk which at times takes over, or reminds your conscious mind of something that happened in the past, and which now makes you dwell on it in the present moment.

Too often it’s the negative memories people focus on, as it’s been said negative memories take up more space – not surprising as it comes with more baggage! When you sleep, your mind shifts from an active state (conscious) to a passive state (unconscious), and your ‘self-talk‘ then becomes one of being in a state of overdrive – your unconscious mind does all the talking for you in the form of dreams.

What is important is your conscious self-talk often filters through and becomes your unconscious self-talk. When this happens, often times you ‘literally‘ speak without putting in much thought.

Have you ever found yourself saying something, only to ask yourself seconds later, “Hmmm, why did I just say that?

Negative Self-Talk Concept ImageMany people carry around with them negative self-talk because they spend too much time focusing on it, and dredging up reminders from negative experiences from their past. Furthermore, so much of this negativity is a by-product of having low self-esteem, and if that’s not enough, it further contributes to them developing lower self-esteem.

You see, when you pattern your unconscious mind to think negatively, it’ll allow your mind (conscious mind) to function on autopilot and feed you with the negativity you’ve become accustomed too.

Whether right or wrong, your unconscious mind doesn’t care; it only validates what you’re thinking about most often.

When you don’t shift your conscious mind to think and say things that are different, your unconscious mind will automatically assume you want more of the same – recurring negative thought patterns to focus your attention on.

A lot of people get used to functioning in the negative rather than focusing on the positive because to do the alternative would mean they’d have to work at shifting their mind set. Shifting your mindset means you have to do some work and even doing this kind of “work” for monitoring your self-talk might appear to be too cumbersome for most.

This focus on negative self-talk is the seed for many of the excuses we make to not change. You get comfortable living with the reasons why you can’t do something. But the fact is “you can” it’s just work and well… excuses are easier and keep you in your “comfort zone” even if your self-talk “excuse” is detrimental to your health and well-being.

So when you say something and wonder why the heck you said it, especially since you really didn’t want to, you can attribute it to your past and unchallenged unconscious mental scripts.

 

GREAT WORDS COME FROM GREAT MINDS:

Have you ever listened to someone speak and wish that you could not only speak like they do, but live the same way they live based on their expressed words?

Abe Lincoln Memorial ImageThere have been great orators who went on to become great leaders because their words had the ability to influence people into believing in them.

The reason they were able to speak such powerfully positive words was that inside of them this is who they believed they were, and this came out in the power of their words.

Abe Lincoln was able to capture the attention of Americans, especially Black Americans and make them believe they were equal, even though they had come through generations of slavery.

Martin Luther King Jr. did likewise when he shared that, “I have a dream!

Both men inspired people who suffered to not only believe in themselves, but asked and inspired other people to believe in them. It worked! These two men single-handedly, as a result of their words, were able to get others to believe. It only worked because deep down people believed in themselves, but just needed their ‘inner spirits‘ to become awakened, and their unconscious minds to come up with new positive scripts for thinking about themselves, their importance, and their place in the world.

The great author James Allen who wrote the landmark bestselling book “As a Man Thinketh“, describes the state and power of words that people express not only outwardly, but within their minds.

James put it best when he asserted that, “A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.

What it means basically is your thoughts are actually words, unspoken verbally most times, but they’re still spoken if even silently all the same because you thought them into existence. What are your current thoughts saying about you?

Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) is a study of communication that occurs with the self, and also what people project outwardly based on their patterns of thought. NLP looks at how you communicate with others on a daily basis, as well as processing the communicative information for yourself.

You see, people communicate two ways, both verbally and non-verbally.

Thoughts in mind concept ImageVerbal communication refers to speaking and listening, while non-verbal communication refers to reading body language and the context through which words are spoken. Over a period of time, we communicate out of habit whether it’s positive or negative. We function on ‘autopilot‘.

NLP helps people to understand the mental aspect of their behaviors through better understanding their thinking patterns (how and why they think the way they do). Your thoughts and perceptions lead to your cognitions (thoughts).

The ultimate goal of NLP is to change irrational people’s destructive thinking, while modifying and enhancing positive and productive cognitions.

In a nutshell, you learn to speak positive words about yourself and others.

NLP teaches and encourages self-control whereby you can recreate your perceptions on how you see things, as well as the perception you have of yourself. Once you begin to do this not only do you start to see life differently, but you also live differently. You can become the ‘you‘ you want to become.

The key premise is that, the ‘you‘ you’ve always wanted to become already exists within you, it’s just dormant. NLP teaches people how to get the person they want to be out into ‘the real world.’

Many hypnotherapists use the techniques of NLP in their work with clients.

 

CHANGING YOUR THOUGHTS TO CHANGE YOUR WORDS:

If you change your thoughts, then you’ll change the words you speak.

It all starts with modifying and/or managing your thoughts and self-talk. If you want to change the way you think then you can achieve this in two basic ways. Interestingly, once you engage in either of these methods, it will also redefine and create how NLP is working in your mind/brain.

The two different approaches you can take to change or modify your self-talk are self-monitoring and hypnosis.

Negative Thoughts Bubble ImageThe first method involves monitoring your moment to moment thoughts. You need to identify what you’re telling yourself is negative, and figure out why you’re telling yourself these things. Your goal is to identify the negative thought first and then to figure out why you’re doing it.

There is some reason you’re doing it.

Perhaps you believe it’s the truth about you. Maybe it’s just a lazy thinking pattern disguised as an excuse which you got caught in and now need to get rid of it. Once you’ve identified it and answered the “why“, the next question is “What?“…What are you willing to do to change it?

If you don’t like the negative thinking, then you know you need to change it.

This means each time you think a negative thought, you immediately identify it and replace it with something positive. The easiest thing to do sometimes is to quickly think about a vivid past memory that makes you feel good. What this does is instantly stop the negative thought pattern. It’s called pattern interrupt. See my post about pattern interrupts here >>>

Don’t dwell on the negative thought; rather just shift your mindset to something positive, even if it’s a happy memory or thinking about something you really like to do.

My choice for the best and efficient method is hypnosis for replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk.

In the past your unconscious would identify a negative thought and give you other corresponding negative thought patterns and feelings to compliment and reinforce it. You’d get caught up in old ways of thinking that’d lead you to destructive thinking when speaking of yourself or others.

Using post-hypnotic suggestions whenever you get the negative thought, your unconscious mind immediately identifies it and then replaces it with a positive self-talk… one placed in your unconscious mind during hypnosis. These suggestions for example of common in my smoking cessation programs as I find smokers are quick to slip back into their old thought mindset that slips them back into smoking.

In essence, new neural pathways are created and bypass the old ones which fizzle out with their inability to be eventually recalled.

Hypnosis can be put to great use in helping you put positive thoughts forward… fast.

Positive Thoughts Quote ImageWhen referring to ‘positive‘ thoughts, these are the ones that focus on what you really want. Remember, thoughts become things! Your spoken and/or unspoken words have the ability to create, destroy or keep things at status quo. It’s up to you to determine if you truly want lasting change.

The goal is to create a new mindset or appreciation for the way you’ll think about things.

Hypnosis can help you to replace the old, lazy mindset which basically used to operate on autopilot and which kept you where you were at – in a status quo holding pattern.

Hypnosis will help you to create thoughts and words which get you excited and stimulate your intrinsic self to not only make changes, but keep you saying good things about yourself and others.

If discovering more about self-hypnosis interests you then check out my group FREE Self-Hypnosis workshop I offer here >>>. Or if you want to consider working directly with me through my online or in-office sessions then check out my Special Hypnosis Services Programs.

I hope my words here have given you some impetus to change and use them to be more kind and compassionate to yourself. Ask any happy person what makes them happy and it will quickly turn into a discussion about how they feel about themselves. How they feel is controlled by the words of their thoughts in the moment.

As you control your thoughts, then you also control how you feel with the words you say to yourself. After all – garbage talk ingarbage talk out. It’s time to throw the garbage out.

Let me know how I can help.

 

FURTHER READINGS FOR POWER OF WORDS:

As a Man Thinketh – Public Domain Free Download

Importance of Keeping Your Word

Pattern Interrupt – Breaking the Habit

Stop Smoking Hypnosis Session – What to Expect for Success >>>

Library of Self-Hypnosis Downloads Products >>>

 
Erika Slater CH
Director
Free At Last Hypnosis

Read More

The Truth About Limiting Beliefs and How to Overcome Them

By Erika Slater
Limiting Beliefs Concept Image

Limiting Beliefs Concept Image

Are you an individual who feels stuck in life, never moving forward, or regretting ‘things‘ don’t seem to be turning out the way you wish or expected they would?

Do you know what the one constant in your life is in your continual experiences, situations, potential changes and dealing with others? YOU!

No matter where you go in life, you take YOU with you. No matter when or where you are in your life, you carry around your personal beliefs, whether they are positive and productive, or negative and limiting.

Where your thoughts go, that’s where your energy will flow.

Guess what?

If you limit yourself in your thinking and beliefs, your energy flow is going to hit a dead end.

This is most likely why you’re feeling STUCK!

 

WHERE DO LIMITING BELIEFS COME FROM?

Have you ever wondered why you “just think the way that you do” and can’t seem to break free from why or where it came from?

Well, the easiest, most realistic and exact answer is your past experiential perceptions! The beliefs you hold, whether they’re positive or negative are the results of the experiences you’ve lived.

Different Experiences Concept ImageNow, these experiences alone didn’t create your belief system, but rather your interpretations and perceptions of the experiences are how you went about creating your beliefs. If the experience was positive, then your beliefs became positive-based, meaning you’re most likely open-minded to future possibilities and change.

If and when a new experience comes your way, you’re more likely to be open to experiencing it, learning from it, and allowing it to enrich your life.

Conversely…

If you’ve had one too many ‘bad‘ experiences and have formed negative perceptions about similar or new experiences, then you’re more likely to be wearing ‘jaded glasses’ whenever you’re looking at new opportunities. What this means is when an opportunity or situation presents itself to you, you’re less likely to look at the possibilities it can present for enriching your life, rather you ‘pre-judge it‘ negatively based on your past experiences, thus placing limits on it, as well as on yourself almost immediately.

This is why and how you get STUCK!

Unfortunately, negative experiences people have, become powerful and intense in their memory banks, and people ‘just don’t forget‘ or let go.

Instead, they use them as ‘cautious reminders‘ to protect them from not being let down, hurt or failing again. When people think this way for one or more situations, they’re likely to start applying the same rules to any and all situations.

Before long you accumulate stereotypes of; people places and things. No matter the situation or time everything is perceived in a ‘jaded’ or ‘cautious light.’ Translated into your life, it means your experiences become limited!

 

WHAT ARE THE MOST COMMON LIMITING BELIEFS PEOPLE HOLD?

No two people have the same experiences, or live the same lives.

However, many people carry with them the same types or kinds of limiting beliefs. When you look at what most people name as their ‘limiting beliefs‘, they’re common and can fit under the same umbrella types, whether they’re tangible or intangible beliefs.

Not Fair ImageTangible beliefs are ones based on things that can be seen, or are of a physical nature. Intangible beliefs are unseen qualities.

There are many types of these beliefs, however let’s just look at the Top 5, which seem to be the most common themes people like to hang onto when it comes to making excuses for why they aren’t where they want to be in their lives, or put more bluntly why ‘Life is not fair!’

WARNING: I’m not out to offend anybody with this article… well I could think of a few… but we won’t get into them today.

But sometimes we – and I include me in this “we” – need some “in your face get with the program” tough love to get out of our own way.

If you’re willing to understand this is the spirit I’m writing this article in today then read on and enjoy.

LIMITING BELIEF #1 – I’M NOT SMART ENOUGH!

Too many people limit themselves by falling into the trap of thinking they’re not smart enough.

The first question worth asking is, “What are you not smart enough for?” Do you believe there are standard IQ tests, ‘smarts tests‘, or some level you need to reach before you can not only try to achieve your goals, but also enjoy your life to the fullest?

IQ Smart ImageThere are a lot of people who believe you have to aspire and attain a certain level of education to be smart. Furthermore, many believe success, achievement and abundance/wealth is only reserved for the ‘smart.’

But this is far from the truth.

Society places a premium on education and knowledge, and rightfully so! You wouldn’t want uneducated people practicing medicine, law, or flying airplanes. Education and knowledge is great, but ‘being smart‘ is a general trite concept, which means there’s really no level to aspire to which will make you ultimately ‘smart‘ and ready to achieve what you want to achieve.

In fact, many people who are millionaires, billionaires, or doing what they love most have no formal college or university training. They just went for it and did it, paying no attention as to whether or not they were smart enough.

The question people should be asking is not, “Am I smart enough?” but rather, “Am I motivated and passionate enough to go after what it is I want to achieve?” Now that’s a question that sorts the “wheat from the chaff!

Often times, people use the excuse of not being smart enough to limit themselves.

Motivation Level Concept ImageThis becomes their eventual cop out for not being motivated or ambitious enough to make and be the change they want to see in their lives.

So, if you find yourself stuck in this limiting belief then get rid of the self-deprecating excuses, faulty reasoning, and handed down generational beliefs that you’re not smart enough to achieve success. This has most likely limited you and past generations for too long.

Instead, realize success, achievement and accomplishment is all about recognizing the need for motivation – you need to motivate yourself to just do it!

Step One: Get off the couch!

Step Two: Take the next step!

LIMITING BELIEF #2 – I’M NOT RICH ENOUGH!

How rich does one have to be to achieve and be successful in life? What is the exact dollar amount?

So many people believe their lives are limited in terms of their financial wealth. Although that may be true in terms of having to live within one’s financial means, it doesn’t mean people can’t dream and set loftier goals.

Sadly, too many people define their lives by their current financial situations, and others choose to live with a ‘barely get by‘ mentality, or a “Thank God it’s Friday!” mindset. When you choose to live this way, you basically have a belief system based on ‘enduring‘ or ‘existing‘ on your wealth… or lack of it.

Over time, people become content in staying where they’re at, as well as satisfied.

Being content with what you have is definitely how you should be, but you should try to avoid being satisfied! When you become satisfied, you start to exist and endure life as it is, and become more passive. You’re more likely to live in the ‘status quo‘ of how things always are, and that limits your growth, as you get STUCK in that mindset.

Broke Concept ImagePersonal growth and the desire for a greater attainment becomes less likely not because of lack of financial resources, but because of not bettering your abilities and circumstances for generating greater wealth. The longer you stay in, and with, this mindset, the more likely this is indeed going to become your financial reality – the proof is in the pudding, and there is no disputing your bank statement. With that said, what are you willing to change?

Perhaps you can create a new belief system which will supersede what you have in place now.

Let’s be realistic, how is your current belief system in terms of ‘not having enough money‘ working out for you? I’m sure at some level it’s bringing some sense of satisfaction for you to keep on keeping going with it, or you wouldn’t be doing it. More likely though, it’s being used as an excuse so you won’t have to change your ‘stinking thinking‘ about money, and actually having to change limiting beliefs and move into action.

If you needed a “kick up the butt” to eradicate this belief… then consider it done.

LIMITING BELIEF #3 – THINGS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY FOR ME!

Things are what they are because you chose that as your reality plain and simple.

Furthermore, things continue to be the way they are for you because you’re willing to accept it! People can try to change you, or help you to change, but unless you’re willing to grab the proverbial “bull by the horns,” then you’ll always be correct when you assert things have always been that way.

After all, you’re the author, artist and designer of your life.

Procrastination Killer ImageWhy are things the way they are for you? Some individuals are habituated or addicted to procrastination as this is a “lifestyle” for them. They procrastinate to avoid anything unpleasant, hurtful or that might result in failure.

The eventual problem, when operating from a mindset of procrastination, is your mind reverts back to its old ways based on the past.

Therefore, to overcome the problem of procrastinating and setting good intentions, you have to cure your mind of what is ailing it – negativity based on irrational past perceptions!

The fact is you weren’t born with this belief. It hasn’t always been this way for you so make the choice now for it not to continue.

Tough love… I know. But you’re more than this limiting belief for sure!

LIMITING BELIEF #4 – I’M TOO OLD TO CHANGE!

They say you can’t teach an “old dog new tricks!

This is just plain rubbish! For starters you’re not a dog!

When you use this negative and limiting belief, you’re basically saying, “I’m too lazy or not motivated enough to change, or don’t want to put the effort into changing.”

It’s truly that simple.

Not Too Old ImageChange requires a conscious decision, effort and commitment.

Most people don’t want to invest their time and energy into making and being the change they want to see or be, and they think, “What’s the use, I’m too old anyway!

In order to shed this limiting belief, you first have to look at ‘ageism‘ assertions two ways.

First, who said you’re too old to change, and if there was any truth to this, what exactly is that ‘age‘ you arrive at whereby ‘change‘ isn’t possible?

Second, when you age, for most, you become wiser and more knowledgeable. Your life experience knows what works, and what doesn’t work. With that said, if you truly wanted change, you’d probably know how to be more successful at it because you’ve had experience and practice with it in the past!

So the whole belief is illogical – so get off the pot… or are you too old to do that?

Of course you’re not.

This is also a limiting belief that keeps a smoker from becoming a non-smoker. After smoking for 40-years they feel it’s too late. Why bother? I’ve had a number of clients who have quit after smoking for 30 or even 40 years. It is never too late to change, and in the case of smoking your body will love for you for it!

LIMITING BELIEF #5 – I’M WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TIME TO CHANGE!

When is the perfect time to change?

You’ve probably been talking about ‘doing‘ it for days, months, years, decades, and where has it gotten you?

I’m betting ‘Las Vegas’-style heavy… nowhere!

If you’re waiting for the perfect season to arrive, the right person to come along, the right day to stop smoking or lose weight, or the planets to align perfectly in the solar system, then you may be waiting for the rest of your life. The right day to set a date to quit smoking is today. The right day to start eating healthy and exercising is… today.

Change Life Concept ImageToo many people are looking for answers and change to come outside of them. They fail to realize they possess all of the tools for making change in their own lives.

Furthermore, there really is ‘no time like the present‘ to make changes in your life.

All you have guaranteed is the present moment you live in.

Frankly, if you’re thinking about making changes in your life then that wind of change is currently blowing in your direction, and like a sail boat, you need to raise your sails and catch the wind current.

In all likelihood you’ll never be that motivated again, and so here’s your opportunity to not only tap into this motivation, but start momentum in your favor!

If you’re still waiting for the perfect time to change… it’s arrived NOW!

Surf’s up… Go for it!

 

CHANGE IS POSSIBLE!

The key to success is to live in the present moment and treat the moment as a unique experience which previous problem solving skills from the past can be used only after the current situation has been analyzed.

Only after you’ve treated the current experience as a unique situation do you explore the possibilities for dealing with it based on past perceptions. What’s most important here is to remember that past perceptions are not the same as current perception.

Limited beliefs will limit your possibilities for success!

Too many people hold onto the past because they enjoy feeling or playing the victim’s role. You will only truly ever be able to live in the present and have a great future when you accept that the past is just that… the past.

It can’t be changed ever.

The only thing you can control and change is you and how you look at what you have now…this present moment in time!

Yes, change can be scary.

Leave Comfort Zone ImageOne of my mentors says to be alive and growing you need to have at least one scary moment each day.

Now I really don’t think they’re talking about me doing bungee jumping off the Empire State building or going over Niagara Falls in a barrel… at least I hope not.

But they’re talking about getting outside my comfort zone by trying something new or making a change that feels strange and awkward at first.

If you’re standing still in your life then you’re not progressing for sure, and if you’re stagnant because of a limiting belief well… it’s slowly killing you.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this article and it’s provided valuable pointers for you if you’re looking to overcome a limiting belief holding you back. If you want to consider working directly with me on limited beliefs, through my online or in-office sessions, then check out my Special Hypnosis Services Programs.

I’d love to get your feedback on this article and welcome comments and suggestions in the section below.

Here is a resource section for further reading and enjoyment on the topic…

 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR LIMITING BELIEFS:

Making Lifestyle Changes

Creating Change with Brain Science

Our Mental Blueprints – DNA for the Soul

Stop Smoking Hypnosis Session – What to Expect for Success >>>

5 Scientific Ways to Build Habits that Stick

4 Steps to Release “Limiting Beliefs” Learned from Childhood

Library of Self-Hypnosis Downloads Products >>>

 

Erika Slater CH,
Director
Free At Last Hypnosis

Read More

Our Mental Blueprints – DNA for the Soul

By Erika Slater
Mental DNA Concept Image

Mental DNA Concept Image
Everyone has heard of DNA, right?

Well perhaps you don’t know what D.N.A. stands for – deoxyribonucleic acid.

You’re probably thinking; just because I now know what it is, I don’t even want to try and pronounce it. I don’t blame you! All you need to know about DNA is that it’s your hereditary material, your ‘blueprint‘ which was put into you by your parents when you were conceived.

All of the physical and even some non-physical traits such as temperament and mental health, were formed in you before you were even born. What’s really interesting about DNA is that no two people have the same DNA. That’s correct, you’re an original, wonderfully made like no other of the 7 billion people living on the face of this earth, and they’ll never be another person like you.

Family Tree ImageThis is your genetic blueprint.

Individuals also possess mental/cognitive blueprints as well based on how they think, feel and act which eventually lead to their behaviors.

Cognitive is a fancy word used to encompass all that goes into how we individually think, understand, reason, learn and remember knowledge and information.

The fact is two people will process the same information differently and arrive at different conclusions influenced by their mental blueprints.

Some experts would like to assert that some cognitions, mannerisms and personality aspects are inherent, much like one’s DNA – passed down by your parents into you through your genes.

Although research in this area is still dawning and expanding, no one knows for sure to what extent cognitive blueprinting is passed down in the genes. What experts do know is that Social Learning Theory plays a large part into the formation of one’s cognitive blueprints.

Don’t worry I’ll explain Social Learning Theory later.

Okay, so can cognitive or personality blueprints really be passed down in the genes?

There are branches of psychology which believe some cognition blueprinting occurs through ‘Neurolinguistic Programming‘ (NLP). Basically this suggests memories, ideas and behaviors from generations past can actually be passed down through cells when one is conceived, and then later these “same” types of idiosyncrasies manifest and develop as one ages.

Are blueprints truly passed on this way? Truth is at this point we don’t really know.

 

WHAT IS NLP?

NLP is a branch of psychology and hypnotherapy that examines the links or connections between neurological processes, language patterns and behavioral patterns.

The main goal of NLP is to understand the mental aspect of behaviors by better understanding one’s thinking patterns.

Why do people think and do what they do?

Thinking and perceptions are one’s cognitions (thoughts) and the goal of NLP is to change irrational or destructive thinking, while modifying and enhancing positive and productive cognitions. So basically, blueprints for faulty thinking get changed or modified to produce positive, productive mindsets.

NLP Concept ImageThere is a strong component to NLP that looks to explain why people think and behave due to inherent influences – essentially their blueprint.

NLP is all about individual programming. It examines how people perceive the world they live in, and how they act on it and within it.

People engage in certain behaviors, habits and even addictions because they’ve “programmed” themselves to act and react the same way over a period of time through repetition. They do things on “automatic overdrive” – engaging in tasks without putting too much thought into it.

Over time, this automatic overdrive way for acting and reacting in their worlds becomes their mental/cognitive blue print.

When NLP is used properly, it teaches and encourages one to foster self-control whereby they can recreate their perceptions on how they see things, as well as the perception they have of them self.

NLP has the ability to improve concentration which will not only improve the ability to learn and stay focused, but also increase self-esteem. You can learn to become an “actor” in your world, rather than live on automatic overdrive or autopilot, and doing things repetitiously.

Furthermore, NLP helps people become goal-setters and helps them identify the changes they want to see in their lives.

Neuro-linguistic Programming has been around for over 40 years. It was developed in the 1970’s in California by John Grinder and Richard Bandler. NLP has been widely scrutinized and criticized in terms of its effectiveness in treating individuals. The greatest criticisms of NLP is it cannot be scientifically tested and validated.

If blueprinting isn’t in the genes and passed down, then where does it come from?

Is it something that develops in the individual’s outside environment… their social worlds? Are they by-products of society – Does this foster their thinking patterns?

 

WHAT IS SOCIAL LEARNING THEORY?

Albert Bandura was the noted psychologist who created the social learning theory and it explains why people think, feel and act as they do.

Basically, it asserts people model what they see and believe it to be true when it matches their perception of reality. They create their thoughts, or ways they think and act through repetition and this becomes their blueprint for their actions.

Everyone possesses constructs, ways in which they view the world. Many people think in terms of polarized thinking where everything is on a continuum. For example:

Good vs. bad
Right vs. wrong
Fun vs. boring

When individuals begin to think in polarized terms, they format blueprints for how they will perceive the world going forward, and whenever they experience anything they put it into their perceptual systems, and try to match it up to past experiences, or make it fit.

Keep in mind, their blueprints for perceiving and understanding the world could be faulty, and this could cause them to struggle with continual issues.

When you’re taught at a young age that certain things are true, you are unable to abstractly discern between what is right and wrong.

For example, if a son witnesses his father abuse his mother, he is going to develop the belief its okay for men to abuse women. He will later use these same beliefs and behaviors in his own relationships.

Twins PhotoIn Social Learning Theory, people often live their lives through others which are referred to as Looking Glass Self. This says you’re drawn to others who reflect your own personalities (beliefs, values, morals, standards, etc.). This summed up is, ‘Birds of a Feather Flock Together’.

People will seek each other out because they’re similar and reinforce one another.

Furthermore, your mental blue print will lead you to seek out similar experiences that match your existing thought processes.

When it comes to social learning theory and developing thought scripts based on your mental blue prints, often times faulty reasoning in your blueprints lead to faulty and even detrimental lifestyles – addictions, abuse, low self-esteem and even mental illness.

In social learning theory, habits (both good and bad) are often created through one’s experiences by desensitization and catharsis. Two big words that can be explained in simple terms.

 

WHAT IS DESENSITIZATION?

Desensitization is a term often linked with Social Learning.

It basically states that whatever stimulates you the most will only do so for a period of time before you have to move on to something stronger to produce similar excitation.

In essence, you build up a tolerance.

The more you experience something, say violence on television, the more likely you are to tolerate it and even get bored with it until something more violent comes along.

When you start to become desensitized too easily, you’re more likely to shift your focus onto something that will stimulate you based on your mental blue prints.

Large Cigarette ImageHerein lays a problem!

If you have good mental scripts (really good mental health) where your thinking is positive and you strive for personal growth which will lead to self-esteem building, then you’ll seek out positive experiences.

Conversely, if you have negative mental scripts, and low self-esteem, your blueprints are more likely going to be of a negative nature and you’ll seek out experiences and thought processes that produce the same or worse negative results. Or take something you do today and ramp it up to excess level!

Either way, one often times engages in behaviors that are cathartic – pleasurable, provide instant gratification, and relieve one from the stressors of their life. The problem comes when your cathartic experiences could be damaging, such as smoking, drinking, gambling or pornography.

 

WHAT IS CATHARSIS?

Catharsis is also a term often associated with Social Learning and De-Sensitization.

For anything to be cathartic, it has to have the ability to release stress and be very therapeutic for one’s mind and body.

Everyone has different thinking about what they deem as being good or bad, right or wrong, fun or boring, etc.

Stress Level Concept ImageIf you’ve an experience which makes you feel something is good, simulating and fun, then you would most likely choose activities as such because you find them to be stress releasing, and/or fun. These thoughts you’ve created for yourself are based on the mental blueprints you’ve formed for yourself, and your subconscious mind accepts them as gospel truths, even when they’re wrong or harmful.

If you start smoking or drinking because you believe these habits helps you take the edge off, while causing you to relax, then you’re more likely to engage in these activities because in your mind, you believe they work!

The problem is, they may ‘work‘ for a while, or help take the stress edge away, but your subconscious mind begins to believe you must have whatever it is you are using and/or abusing to function. When it gets to that point, you’ve created a necessity and when substances and vices are involved, it most likely evolves into a full blown addiction!

From this point forward, your blueprint is one that is weighted toward one that resembles an ‘addictive personality‘.

 

WHAT IS AN ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY?

Certain people as a result of their family background and/or childhood experiences are more prone to develop addictions to vices or substances than other people. This hinders their ability to find fulfillment, whether or not they actually develop specific addictions.

Their blueprint is based on low self-esteem, boredom and/or depression.

People with addictive personalities, usually possess the following traits:

  • They’re in constant pursuit of pleasurable sensations.
  • They constantly try to avoid pain, either physical or psychological.
  • They constantly turn to whatever it is that makes them feel good (alcohol, smoking, pornography, eating, sex, gambling, TV, work, etc.) as a way to distract themselves from their problems.
  • They believe that if they ignore the problems, they will just go away!

Addiction Concept ImageIndividuals with addictive personalities, generally behave in negative ways that lead to a whole new set of problems, which lead to a whole new round of avoidance. What this means is the blueprints they possess for problem solving are negative and don’t change in order to create positive outcomes.

The addictive personality not only has low self-esteem but also loses the confidence in their ability to face their problems and change their patterns of negative behavior.

What happens is that most resort to avoidance behaviors and the problems recapitulate and grow deeper.

 

CREATING NEW BLUEPRINTS:

Are people destined to have ‘Groundhog Days‘, a line from the movie starring Bill Murray, destined to live their lives like negative broken records, or can they create change?

The answer is yes, change is possible if the individual is willing to consciously want to change things for them self, and sometimes this might require outside intervention and help.

Mental Blueprint Concept ImageJust like creating blueprints for a house and then changing them if you’re not satisfied with them, you can change your own blueprints – your mental scripts.

First off, it’ll require you accepting the old ways of thinking and doing things are not working. When you accept this, then the second part will be required – CHANGE! You need to be willing to not only change your thinking, but how you go about processing information that leads to your thinking.

The best way to accomplish this feat is either through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) -perhaps by seeing a therapist, cognitive monitoring (paying attention to what you are thinking or telling yourself), or through hypnosis under the guidance of a trained professional. If you want to consider working directly with me through my online or in-office sessions then check out my Hypnosis Services or if you’ve a specific need around this topic then contact me here.

There is an old saying, ‘Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water!’, and this applies here in that your old, negative thinking patterns may be bad, but it does not make you a bad person!

 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR MENTAL BLUEPRINTS:

This article is part of a three-part series covering hypnosis, mental blueprints, and pattern interrupts. Reading all three will give you a solid foundation in why we do things the way we do, how to change, and hypnosis’s role in change.

Suggested reading order and links to articles are:

  1. Guide to “What is Hypnosis?”
  2. Our Mental Blueprint – DNA for the Soul
  3. Pattern Interrupt – Breaking the Habit

Also, check out our Library of Self-Hypnosis Downloads Products >>>

 
Erika Slater CH
Free At Last Hypnosis

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Pattern Interrupt – Breaking the Habit

By Erika Slater
Break Bad Habits Concept Image

Break Bad Habits Concept Image

Are you a creature of habit, hooked on always doing the same thing over and over, or repeating the same habits even though you know they are detrimental?

Have you ever been told by someone close to you; a family member, spouse, friend, co-worker, a counselor, that if you continue to do things the way you’re currently doing them you’re headed toward more mediocrity, perhaps even disaster?

Albert Einstein said it best when he came up with his famous definition of insanity – doing things the same way over and over, and hoping for, or expecting different results. If you have been engaging in this form of thought process, or acting out the same way, you’d think by now you’d see different results.

Have you?

I’m guessing you haven’t.

Thinking is a habit. In fact it can be either a good habit or a bad habit depending on the outcome. Your feelings and behaviors are also habitual when you think the same way, even if that certain way of thinking is destructive. For example my stop smoking hypnosis programs and weight loss service are all about interrupting patterns of destructive habits.

Furthermore, when you engage in a certain way of thinking, feeling and acting for a period of time, you most likely ‘become‘ that – you’re the end resultant; THINKING + FEELING + ACTING = BECOMING. Most likely, you’re hoping for the ‘BECOMING’ part to be one of success, joy, peace and contentment.

Stuck in a Rut SignUnfortunately, that isn’t the case for most as they get caught up in ruts within the confines of their thinking and remain in the same negative thinking patterns.

Most people who are ‘habitual thinkers‘ don’t feel the need to change their old or existing way or thinking, or if they do want to change they don’t know how. In fact, many habitual thinkers who foster negative results find deep down they’re addicted to their way of thinking – or are habituated to procrastination promising themselves, or others, they’ll change one day leading them to think, feel and act differently.

The problem is they’ve already ‘become‘ that type of individual who thinks the way they do and they either don’t know how to change things up, or realize they’ll have to invest time and energy into making this change.

When they think about this, change means work and effort, so they put it off and procrastinate to getting around to it ‘someday‘. Unfortunately, like the movie Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray, the days continually repeat and all look and feel the same.

This can be frustrating for those who truly wish and want change!

 

ARE YOU A PROCRASTINATOR?

What is procrastination?

Procrastination is the act of deliberately avoiding something, or looking for a distraction to get out of anything that seems unpleasant. In fact, you can even procrastinate about thinking – You tell yourself you’ll give it more thought later.

Whatever way you refer to procrastination, you can see that it’s not a positive act, rather one that can be destructive if you’re trying to move ahead in life, or in a different direction.

Procrastination can be very destructive in that it hinders your ability to evolve or change in the positive manner you hope to achieve. You see, procrastination renders people from achieving their goals, dreams and living to a higher standard. The subsequent problem is procrastination becomes habitual (habit forming, even addictive for some) and this eventually becomes a lifestyle for some people.

Did you know you can literally procrastinate about procrastinating? Oh yes! It goes something like this, “I promise I’m going to change for sure this time, like I said many times before, but this time I mean it!” When you break this statement down, you’re merely “talking the talk” but not “walking the walk” because you’re basically stationary – wanting to go in a different direction but stuck in the same place!

Where does procrastination come from in the first place?

Is it an inherited psychological gene for mental laziness that gets passed down from generation to generation, or is more on the nurture side, a learned behavior?

It doesn’t come in the form of a gene of the DNA variety; rather it’s a learned behavior.

Procrastination Ahead SignThe procrastination problematic behavior is usually learned from three major experiences; from observing parents or primary caregivers, who themselves procrastinate, or those who allow children to get away with not doing what is asked of them and then not correcting them, or having something traumatic happen that affected them in childhood, adolescence, or early adulthood that eventually hindered them from attempting to do anything of significance.

One or all three incidences eventually lead to one’s thought processes, and how they choose to act and become. If you will, your present “You” in terms of how you behave, is the sum of experiences from your years past.

Some individuals become habituated or addicted to procrastination and negative thinking patterns as this becomes a “lifestyle” for them.

They use procrastination to avoid anything that they perceive to be potentially unpleasant, hurtful or will result in failure.

In the past they might have experienced an unfortunate event where they made a mistake or failed at something only to receive ridicule, or someone intended for them to feel bad about it.

More experiences like these ones have the potential to render a person helpless in that they begin to perceive anything that involves risk or change, on their part, as having the potential to be emotionally and psychologically damaging. Furthermore, it requires investing time and energy to create change. It becomes hard to change their old ways of thinking as they’ve solidified a ‘pattern‘ which they’re the only ones capable of interrupting in order to create change.

The eventual problem when operating from a mindset of procrastination based on any of these three causes is that when it comes to setting and attaining intentions, the changes you want to see in your life, your mindset reverts back to its old ways based on the past.

Therefore, to overcome the problem of procrastinating and then setting good intentions, you have to cure your mind of what is ailing it – negativity based on irrational past perceptions. If you will, you have to interrupt the old thoughts/perceptions with new stimuli!

 

OLD PATTERNS DIE HARD!

The problem with procrastination and addictive/habitual thinking is that it’s hard to stop the pattern from continuing unless you actively get involved and this involves becoming more mindful of your thoughts.

The greatest battle many people engage in is with their minds. Too many people believe things are as they are, or always will be at a certain point in their lives or at a certain age – “You can’t teach old dog new tricks.

Goals Intentions Concept ImageMoreover, some really do believe it’s a genetic or generational pass-down that creates this negative effect in their lives, rendering them puppets on a string – “It is what it is” is what too many people believe to be their realities about their lives.

It’s all about their perception, or distorted perception. The key element one needs to create is ‘intentions‘, which mean setting a goal, even a goal for change and pursuing that as their endpoint.

Intentions are usually created and put out there based on what you’re telling yourself each day, or moment to moment.

Unfortunately they’re usually ingrained with 2 negative disclaimers, either; 1) Telling yourself what you “don’t” want anymore, and/or 2) Why things ‘never‘ work out, or why you’re ‘not‘ something you want to be.

Your subconscious mind only does what it’s told. It’s your hardware and memory, much like a computer and it cannot discern or challenge what you’re telling it as reality and fantasy. Once you continually use your same thoughts over and over, they become like ‘cookies‘ on your web browser, where you only have to type in the first couple letters and bingo, you’re at the same site.

Confused Mind ConceptOnce at your familiar “memory” site, your subconscious mind cannot discern what you really want versus what you don’t want.

It therefore goes on autopilot mode and selects what you’ve often selected – the bad habits you’re currently doing based on your habitual thoughts, and those bad habits you “don’t want to do any longer.”

The subconscious mind cannot discern the concept of “not” or “don’t” which are negative concepts, and need to be avoided.

Instead, it zeros in on the primary strength of the concept you’re trying to eradicate from your life – in this example, “smoking.”

So, when you say, “I don’t want to smoke anymore“, your subconscious mind is basically tossing the idea around, “Hmmm, someone say smoke? You want to smoke anymore, you mean some more?

And if that isn’t discouraging enough, you get the double whammy when you say, “See? Why do I even try, I always start smoking again!

The subconscious mind always listens and then replies, “Okay then, your wish is my command” and before you know it, you’re doing what you didn’t want to do – which is light up a cigarette!

 

BREAKING THE PATTERN!

What are you willing to do about your current state?

Do you really want to change it?

The main goal of pattern interrupt is to influence and change your existing thought processes which will alter your strategies or mental state, and thereby your outcomes!

Stuck in Groove ConceptYour old ways of thinking have created ingrained neural pathways that your mind automatically slides into without much thought. It’s like playing an old vinyl record on a turn table and having the needle always lining up in the same groove.

The goal of pattern interrupt is to ‘interrupt‘ the exiting cognitive scripts one has (their thinking pattern) and create surprise, something novel or new which the subconscious mind now affixes itself too.

Most people have a difficult time creating pattern interrupt on their own as their minds are too fixated on their old thought patterns.

With that said, interestingly, many people experience pattern interrupt on a daily basis whenever they’re interrupted by unexpected noises, movements, other people talking, or when they engage in activities that relax or calm them such as working out, going for a long walk, meditating, or even taking a different route to or from work.

It’s all truly about shifting your perspective.

And then there is hypnosis! This has the ability to create successful, lasting effects for creating pattern interrupt.

One of the most difficult activities known to humans is mastering their own thoughts. This is so difficult because it requires monitoring thoughts which requires censoring your moment to moment awareness.

Given we’re creatures of habit; we don’t like to change things, especially when things are already simple. Change requires work and the exertion of energy.

Instead of following through on “resolutions” and intentions you want for a better life, you slip back into old habits because they’re ingrained in your minds and you simply accept them.

Hypnosis is able to get right to the source to correct and create change – it taps into the subconscious mind. This is where successful and lasting changes for pattern interrupt need to occur.

The subconscious is like a sponge and magnet.

Success Attraction ConceptWhatever thoughts and perceptions you experience enter into the subconscious part of your mind without any critical censorship.

And since the mind operates on the law of attraction, whatever thought patterns have been absorbed into the subconscious mind, and accepted as truths will draw more of the same.

Having said this, you want to start recreating your subconscious mind and magnetizing positive thoughts which will be in line with the changes and successes you want to see in your life.

Through using hypnosis, you can have thought processes that have been there forever reprogrammed with post-hypnotic suggestions that have you focusing on the thoughts you most want to experience.

It’s all about replacing the old thoughts with new thoughts.

You can do this on your own, but it’ll require monitoring your destructive, procrastinating thoughts as you think them, catching yourself doing it, and immediately deleting them, and replacing them with new positive ones. This is hard – even getting your head around this level of self-awareness can be daunting for most folks.

Another, and better way, is using hypnotherapy.

Hypnosis will help you achieve the same result, but you won’t have to do monitoring consciously, as it puts your subconscious mind to work to replace the old with new.

Using hypnosis is my preferred form of pattern interrupt as it not only interrupts faulty thought patterns, but let’s you totally re-create positive new ones! And this is the primary outcome of pattern interrupts and makes all the difference between remaining “stuck in the rut” and breaking free for new and exciting outcomes. If you want to consider working directly with me through my online or in-office sessions then check out my Hypnosis Services or if you’ve a specific need around pattern interrupts then contact me here.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES RELATED TO PATTERN INTERRUPT:

Guide to “What is Hypnosis” here >>>

Library of Self-Hypnosis Downloads Products >>>

 
Erika Slater CH
Director
Free At Last Hypnosis

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How to Rewrite Your Life Story

By Peter Sacco
Crossroads of Life Concept Image

Crossroads of Life Concept Image

Where are you at in your life right now?

Perhaps the better question should be is; Are you living the life of your dreams? When asked this question, too many people assert that they are living a life filled with regrets and disappointment.

Some say that the “best part of living” is behind them, or that they are “too old to start” something new, or something they have always dreamed about doing. How does someone know that they are too old to change things up and rewrite their life story?

What if someone is sixty, does that make them too old?

If they say it does, how in the world do they answer if someone tells them that someone at sixty-five started doing what they claim they are too old to start? Is it really all about age, or is it more about attitude and belief?

The problem that most people encounter with this “someday” and “too late for me” thinking is that the period in between disappears like a mist from their lives like something out of the Bermuda triangle. Where on earth did the time go?

It disappeared as you were waiting to engage someday and got busy doing the mundane things in life that you forgot to get around to doing what you really wanted to do. So all you really have is right here, right now to start doing what you really want!

Why not change your life story? No one says that you can’t or that you have to be a certain age.

There is no expiration date!

As long as you are living and breathing you get to create your story. Part of the problem is people limit themselves from regrets and mistakes that they have made in the past and believe that the same circumstances from the past may be applied into the present moment and future. With that said, you get to create the present which is always your future past, isn’t that cool?

If you have a hard time letting go of the past, then perhaps you have some unfinished business or regrets that you need to resolve, but you can do this as you create the new story for your life.

Interestingly, as you are resolving inner conflict, this is actually a part of your new life story. So where do you begin?

First off, you have to get clear about what it is you really want in your life.

Too many use perceptions based on past, negative experiences which hinders their ability to be excited and creative about creating new scripts for their lives. Much of this also revolves around self-confidence and self-esteem.

One of the most effective ways for overcoming regrets and disappointments is to create a new set of beliefs and perceptions for yourself. This can actually be done quickly and effectively through hypnosis and meditation.

Through hypnosis, you can replace old, negative, limiting thoughts with new positive thoughts that seem to make you happier and energetic. It won’t take long for them to seep into your unconscious mind and become a part of you. If you want to discuss working directly with us on your particular issue to see if we can help and advise you on a next step, then check out our Hypnosis Services or you can contact us here.

Creating a life story is not arduous or difficult but it does demand some focus and if you’d like help in getting this focus in a self-hypnosis product then check out this resource from Hypnosis Download center here >>>

 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR LIFE STORY:

The Eight Habits of Highly Confident People >>>

How to Think with a Millionaire Mind to Attract Wealth >>>

Reasons Why we Practice Self-Sabotage and How to Stop >>>

Let Go of Ego and You Let Go of Stress! >>>

How to Boost Your Creativity or Overcome Creativity Blocks >>>

Overcoming and Dealing with Guilt and Shame So You Can Get On with Life >>>

How to Stop Feeling Ostracized Amongst Peers >>>

Library of Self-Hypnosis Downloads Products >>>

Peter Andrew Sacco Ph.D.
Staff Editor
Free At Last Hypnosis

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How to Think with a Millionaire Mind to Attract Wealth

By Peter Sacco
Millionaire Mind Image
Millionaire Mind Image

Getting a milionaire mind begins with what you think

This concept of “millionaire mind” has been floating out there for the last couple of decades – airwaves, media, books, etc. Just exactly what is a millionaire mind and where on earth does one go about finding one?

Good question!

I will provide you with two immediate answers. Firstly, go look in the mirror. You are looking at one – potentially.

Second, think about it for a second. Okay, you’ve just thought with a millionaire mind – potentially.

You see, you have it within you already, but it just needs to be activated!

Many people believe two things when it comes to large sums of money; they either don’t deserve to have that large amount of money belonging to them, or people with large sums of money must be corrupt, bad or evil. It’s funny how stereotypes about wealth taught to kids long ago (I am talking decades, even centuries) still permeate most peoples’ thinking that the root of all unhappiness and evil is money.

Really?

Just for the record, demographics in the USA show that most violent crimes occur in lower socio-economic areas. I don’t think abundance of wealth is causing these people to behave badly, do you?

Instead, money should be looked at as a means, tool – positive energy for improving quality of life and living better. And that could and should start with your own life! Of course that is if you really desire greater financial wealth and abundance?

If so, then read on…

Have you ever heard of the expression, “money attracts money“? Well, that concept is correct because like attracts like. They have to because they have something in common… themselves!

When you see a school of fish, they are all the same. When you see a flock of birds they are all the same. And when you see wealthy people sitting together they are close to being the same in terms of their wealth, even more so in their positive perceptions of wealth. Like attracts like!

Their perceptions of wealth are so similar because they appreciate money as a medium and energy. They believe in the positive benefits of it.

It is actually okay to love money!

When you love something and treat it with respect it comes to you and stays with you. When you focus on lack, you attract more lack, just as when you focus on gain, you attract more gain.

So the key to a millionaire mind is 3 fold; ask, believe and then receive!

Asking means setting an intention for yourself. It might be asserting something like, “I would like to increase my personal income by 20% within the next six months!“. And when you ask, you need to be as precise as possible. If you say something like, “I would like to increase my personal wealth” and then walk outside and find a nickel, guess what? I think you get the point.

Next, believe that you are deserving of a greater income. Why not you? Don’t think in terms of lack or how the past has been, rather focus on what it is you really want and anticipate how it will feel once you get it!

Finally, receive it in your mind/being as if it were already in your life. This is the millionaire mind – feeling like a king! Millionaire minds think about large sums of money before it ever comes into their lives. Still doubting it? Have you ever purchased a lottery ticket say with the hopes of winning, say a million dollars?

Embrace those feelings at the highest level! What you are doing is emitting a high, positive frequency of energy. And remember, like attracts like! Hypnosis works with your unconscious mind to change your thinking patterns around money. If you want to discuss working directly with us on your particular issues attracting wealth to see if we can help and advise you on a next step, then check out our Special Hypnosis Services Programs.

Alternatively, if you prefer a self-hypnosis product then check out this MP3 session to start to get your millionaire mind by clicking here.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES TO HELP THINK WITH MILLIONAIRE MIND:

Unconscious Problem Solving – Working Through Problems Using Hypnosis >>>

The Eight Habits of Highly Confident People >>>

Library of Self-Hypnosis Downloads Products.

 
Peter Andrew Sacco Ph.D.
Staff Writer
Free At Last Hypnosis

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