Stop Dating the Wrong Person Using Online Dating Services and Your Life Experiences
by Erika Slater
Are you single and find it difficult to meet the right person… you know that elusive soulmate?
Are you always dating the wrong kind of people, and your ‘dating’ inner-soul feels like you’re received a blood-spattered battering from a decade in the UFC machine!
It probably seems hopeless at times as no matter how many stones you turn over or how many ponds you dip your fishing pole in, you seem to keep landing snakes, toads and sharped fin fish.
Enough is enough already! What’s going on here you may be thinking?
As difficult as it may be to confront it, have you ever considered the problem isn’t necessarily with whom you’re meeting, but rather with the “bait” and your method of meeting new folks?
I know using the word “bait” may seem a little offensive as it makes the dating game feel a little like a fishing expedition but in reality, it is.
And that bait is… you!
After all, when you analyze everything about your dating search you’re the constant denominator, right?
THE PROBLEMS OF MEETING THE “RIGHT” PERSON OFFLINE AND ONLINE:
When it comes to dating and meeting the right person most people are so busy with their hectic schedules they don’t have time to get out and ‘date’ and meet people the old fashion ways. Sure, people still do old school by getting out and socializing and going to events and meeting a variety of folks. It’s a little hit and miss for sure and progress can be slow.
Many people today though have skipped these methods and instead opted for matching services.
So, the rules for dating seem to have changed. It seems the preferred method for dating is using the Internet and online matching services. Are you using an online dating site to try to meet the love of your life?
And are you addicted yet?
Has what once started out as hope turned to desperation and disillusionment in your Internet quests? How much is too much, and how far is too far when it comes to the world of Internet cyber romance?
What is it about Internet dating which makes it so addictive?
Well, anything novel and new is exciting! It arouses you in ways you can only hope for.
The longer you stay on-line, the more likely you are going to become desensitized and shift from having loving intentions to lustful temptations, and eventually utter frustration!
Usually, meeting the ‘right‘ someone online takes time, not to mention patience.
Unfortunately, most people don’t possess patience as they live in a “fast food” and competitive society of having what they want, when they want it, which is usually in the ‘ now‘.
Internet dating can be extremely habit forming.
You know you’re addicted to these services when you need to be on every day, certain times of the day, or your day revolves around being on-line, thus compromising work or social activities. When you’re not online, you develop psychological symptoms of withdrawal if you miss a day, or an ‘online‘ appointment. The attention one receives from being online can become exciting, overwhelming and addictive!
The problem is over time you become conditioned and habituated to the same type of people, respond the same way, and literally ‘date’ on autopilot. When you do this, you’re destined to keep meeting the wrong people.
This will likely put you in a rut and you’ll start to lose confidence in not only hoping to meet the right person, but your abilities to ‘date’. Bad relationships from the past compounded with repetitious negative dating skills can lead to a losing battle.
OVERCOMING THE ONLINE DATING OBSESSION AND DESPERATION AND MAKE MEETING NEW PEOPLE A JOY:
You need a new blue print for not only what you’re looking for in a new potential mate, but also what you want versus what you’re willing to accept or tolerate.
The longer you embark on this ‘dating’ journey with little success, the more likely your unconscious mind will serve you on autopilot – doing the same ole, same ole.
Getting out of your current mindset and methods is your first two steps.
Decide the qualities you’re looking for in your mate.
Be realistic here. Everybody has a different definition of “perfect” but be wary of only superficial qualities. While physical attraction is important as we all know Hollywood beauty stars don’t have a great track record of long-lasting relationships.
Figure out what qualities and values are table steaks for you, and make sure these filters are on when searching both off-line and on-line.
If you’re a new-single getting back into dating after a divorce or break-up from a long relationship then you may enter back with some good and bad thoughts. Make sure you’re ready and leave your prejudice and negative experiences “at the dating door” otherwise it’ll shine through when communicating and could scare folks off. I’ve provided a resource in the special section below if this is “you” and how to prepare yourself.
While we briefly discussed online dating services and somewhat in a negative way it’s still an option approached the right way and as one alternative method to meet new people. I’ve included some information in the resource section on the best and worst services produced by CNBC. Check it out before starting your search.
So, what other ways can you use to meet folks? Well, there are plenty if you’re prepared to use more than matching services. These range from old fashioned ways such as attending events and birthday parties and social gatherings after work, to using your online social media friends to find local activities and events to attend. Again, I’ve included a resource suggesting 11 ways for you in the special section below.
Also, consider hypnosis.
Hypnosis can help you break the cycle of meeting incompatible people and help you create positive, new blue prints for success. It will help you end the cycle of habitual dating and re-energize the zest you once had.
Hypnosis will help with your mindset if you feel this is a barrier for you. If you want to consider working directly with me on your mindset through my online and in-office sessions, then check out my Hypnosis Services or if you’ve a specific need then contact me here.
Alternatively, if you feel you keep dating the wrong women or wrong men and are looking for a self-hypnosis product to help get you on the right track then check these out:
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES RELATED TO STOP DATING WRONG PERSON:
Erika Slater CH
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