Overcoming Mindsets Leading to Fear of Change or Metathesiophobia
by Erika Slater
To a certain extent, we are all anxious about change. Going to college and saying goodbye to neighbors and friends we made at high school, getting married, changing jobs, moving to a new house or area. We can’t get through life without change but that doesn’t make it any easier. It can just make us more anxious.
But we cope for mostly one of two primary reasons.
The first is, while the change can be scary it also offers us excitement of something new. A chance to make new friends and experience new wonders for example.
The second reason is we have no alternative because the change is being thrust upon us. In this instance, there may be no excitement attached to the change only stress and anxiety. This can be work or family related. Examples can be divorce or being transferred in your company to a new location. To the person experiencing the change it can seem there is only downside because there is no choice.
We can learn then to fear change depending on our past experiences by avoiding change to the point where it can be detrimental to the fundamental needs of being human.
MINDSETS THAT CAN GET US STUCK IN FEAR OF CHANGE:
For those who fear change they’re prepared to live their lives the same day over and over, no matter how unfulfilling it may be, how negative they may act, or being around people or situations they know are wrong for them.
The reason many people hang on “tooth and nail” to negativity and avoid change like the plague is frankly ‘mundane’ or ‘same ole, same ole’ represents a security blanket for them.
It’s a level of predictability in what can seem a world ready to knock you down if you step outside your comfort zone.
Many folks would rather “dance with the devil” they’re familiar with, than the potential “angel” they’ve never met… and risk upending their world!
Change is a normal part of social evolution and psychological growth. To remain in the same mindset place when you’ve a chance to better yourself isn’t healthy.
Change can be frightening for many, but not impossible.
There are a number of mindsets we can get into that ultimately lead to us staying always in a limiting comfort zone unless a catastrophe happens.
There’s the ‘fatalist’ mindset. This mindset says lives are predetermined. Basically, these folks will assert this was the hand of cards they were dealt with, and they’re making the best of it.
Telling these folks to throw this hand in and get another set of cards doesn’t work because, well… the next hand could be worse!
Some of their life’s lessons may already have shown them this. The truth is… they could be right. But… more on this later.
Conversely, some people have a mindset to wait for a ‘divine’ moment or appointment, for acceptable changes to occur in their lives. Even though the opportunities to evolve and change continually come their way, they fight the urge to chase the opportunities down because they believe the timing is not right yet, or they need to hear an all-powerful “voice” or feeling.
The curse for folks with this mindset is likely they’ll never find the right “moment” or “feeling.” They’ve got “out of touch” with their feelings to the extent they don’t trust their feelings to change any longer.
Another mindset similar to the fatalist is those who subscribe to a more pessimistic view of life and their motto is hope for the best, but expect the worse, and therefore they won’t be disappointed. It’s natural we prefer a sense of security in life, even if it keeps us at a place of “status quo.” After all we have bills to pay, children and other dependents to take care of, we just can’t jeopardize all this for the sake of change!
So many people are willing to hold onto what they have, afraid of losing it, even though they could go so much further in their lives. They’re satisfied keeping what they have, living from a place of reserve, or fear. They may have worked really hard to get to this point in their life. They may even have made many changes. But now they’ve got “stuff” and they’re handcuffed to their “stuff” and situation.
For these folks, “Going for it!” could mean failing or losing what they have.
This ‘fear’ or apprehension (which is irrational and unrealistic in most circumstances) trumps the countless possibilities that may present themselves for an individual to succeed at amazingly higher levels of promotion and accomplishment.
Too many individuals fear change because they hold onto an ‘expect the worst’ mindset. They’re the ones most likely to step over a silver dollar in order to pick up the nickel, as the nickel is safer for them as they know that mindset better!
Advertisers are taught people are much more afraid of losing something than gaining something. This is the reason why so much advertising is aimed at playing to your fear of losing something. It strikes at an emotion in all of us – fear of loss.
And for many fear of change can mean fear of loss.
But it doesn’t have to be this way…
MOVING BEYOND THE FEAR OF CHANGE:
But if this fear occupies our thoughts, then these thoughts can become our feelings, and feelings tend to trump every other emotion, and can inhibit us from allowing us to grow and experience new opportunities. It’s all about changing your perspective and making a conscious effort to do things differently so you can move beyond this fear of change.
But what practical things can you do to overcome this fear?
You can change your mindset to one that has a positive outlook on change. Embrace the change and go with the flow or direct it for your own benefit. If you subscribe to the law of attraction, then thinking positive thoughts about a change will attract positive outcomes from the change.
Dale Carnegie teaches us we vastly overestimate the odds of the worse of an outcome happening, and worry and are anxious needlessly. This has been my personal experience as well where my worst nightmare about a situation never materializes. It may not make us inhibit fear completely but certainly helps push us through the opening steps to change so it can gather speed on its own and we almost can’t “stop the train!”
If you’re logically minded, then breaking down the change into steps or small bites can help progress at a safer pace and allow for deliberate changes along the way. For some folks edging towards the point of no return gives them a feeling of control and being able to “stop the train using the emergency brake” if readiness is an issue.
Of course, all of the above attitudes are “on your own” approaches.
But if you struggle to make change on your own, then hypnosis is an option in which your unconscious mind can learn new ideas and open you up for positive change.
Hypnosis can help folks become more adaptable and resilient in times of change. Hypnosis has been successful in helping people cope with changes already occurring in their life. It can allow folks to even deliberately introduce changes into their life, feel more confident about seeking out new experiences, and generally more open to change.
Hypnosis can be experienced through seeing a local hypnotherapist in their office or online using Skype or similar online interactive service. If you want to consider working directly with me on your specific needs through my online or in-office sessions, then check out my Special Hypnosis Services Programs.
Alternatively, self-hypnosis sessions allow you to download and listen whenever you want on your smartphone or MP3 device.
Check out this self-hypnosis session for starting to overcome your fear of change here >>>
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