How to Participate in Conversations Easily
by Peter Sacco
Talking with other people is second nature for most, first nature for some! Some people are masters at talking while others are dominators of conversation–they don’t let others get a word in edge-wise.
Then there are those who have a hard time clearing their throats and adding something to the conversation.
They would rather be seen and not heard. Why is it that some people find it so difficult to participate in conversations easily? If you are one of those who have a difficult time speaking, then perhaps reading this will help you.
Some people refuse to engage in conversations even when their figurative arms are twisted because they’re shy or afraid of saying the wrong thing and embarrassing themselves. When you look at most who have these difficulties, it is often be traced back to one of two situations.
First, early on in life as children, they might have had parents and even some teachers tell them that, “Children should be seen and not heard!”
If that line wasn’t enough to deter them, perhaps they were told, “Don’t speak unless spoken too!” Gee, is it any wonder why these kids grew into teens and eventually adults not wanting to speak! The power of the word ironically is so amazing that it can even teach people not to speak.
A second reason individuals have difficulty engaging in conversation is most likely as children, teens and even as early adults they may have been continually ridiculed or corrected for something they said which may have embarrassed them to the point where they chose to listen and not speak.
What is the point in saying something if others, especially those they might look up to are going to criticize them for whatever they say? So how do you become a better conversationalist and not allow the criticisms of the past to constantly play in your head?
The best way to engage in conversations and never be wrong is to ask questions.
As a matter of fact this is what Socrates, the great philosopher did and which also led to Socratic philosophy, asking questions to get accurate answers. When you ask questions for the purpose of creating effective conversations, it accomplishes a few things, especially for the individual’s apprehension about conversing.
First off, asking questions shifts the responsibility off of the one asking the questions and onto the one answering the questions.
Interestingly, it is much easier to ask questions rather than answer. This is a great confidence booster over time and can help you engage in conversations much more easily and readily.
Second, asking questions creates the opportunity for instant clarification.
If you are asking the person a question, then you are seeking an answer. You are not putting yourself in a position to be criticized for giving a wrong answer or making a bold statement. Eventually, as you gain confidence in conversing, you will be more readily able to make statements without worrying about being criticized.
Finally, when you ask questions, it shows that you are interested in what others think and do. Most people love to talk about themselves.
Moreover, people love it when you are paying attention to them. With this said, you have made a instant friend!
Hypnosis can provide you the confidence to participate socially and brush off any awkward stress you feel around feeling comfortable in any group settings. If you want to discuss working directly with us on your particular issue to see if we can help and advise you on a next step, then check out our Hypnosis Services or you can contact us here.
Alternatively, if you prefer a self-hypnosis product then check out this session on how to be a conversation star.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES RELATED TO PARTICIPATION:
Peter Andrew Sacco Ph.D.
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