Dealing with Grief – Different Forms and Ways to Live Again
by Erika Slater
Grief and sadness are parts of living the human experience. No one is exempt from feeling the pains that accompany grief at some point in their lives.
Grief is usually associated with a loss such as: death, divorce, finances, or a job, all of which can lead to adjustment difficulties. It’s not uncommon for grief to last a long time and become depression.
When grief becomes chronic depression then it has the ability to render someone to feel and become helpless and hopeless. If and when it should get to that point, usually outside intervention is required.
Here are ways that Grief can take all the joy out of life…
THE DIFFERENT FORMS OF GRIEF:
Many kids feel their first grief through the loss of a pet. Pets, especially dogs and cats, pull up strong emotions at any age. Saying goodbye to one can have a lasting deep impression on a child.
There’s a bond we have with our pets because of their unbroken loyalty and friendship with no strings attached. They give without expecting much in return – just a safe home, affection and food. We feel we should be able to protect them from death and somehow, we let them down when we lose them.
So we mourn over their loss as much for ourselves as them.
But for older people, who have the same affinity for their pets as kids, they feel the loss of their companionship even more.
Our family suffered the loss of a dog a few years ago and one we all loved very much. In this instance we think our kids moved on from the loss faster than we did, because we did all the caring and feeding of Buddy, and received back his unwavering companionship, our loss was greater.
Another form of grief is loss of a job or a change at work “forced” on you. This is particularly relevant in the corporate world. Businesses are always looking to increase profits and be more efficient. Management decisions are made that cause jobs to be expendable… your job. It unfortunately becomes a number’s game for Wall Street’s pleasure.
Other times a new system is implemented and everything you knew before, including the value you contributed, is changed. This loss is even catered for by system implementer’s to cover the different phases of: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and finally Acceptance.
It’s a noble intent but at the end of the day you shouldn’t expect grief counseling but more of transition help and you’ll be expected to move on quickly for the greater good of the company.
But the loss of a loved one such as a spouse, child, or a parent can be devastating and not so easily overcome.
As a case in point the current opioid crisis in America is casting a wide net of grief on people. Many counselors are overwhelmed with parents grieving the loss of a son or daughter to this new epidemic. Where I live in Massachusetts it’s a common topic in the media.
I’ve seen people who came to me for hypnosis help to stop smoking or coaching on weight loss have grief for a parent loss be at the center of their barrier to success. It can infest many different areas of our lives.
Often time society has portrayed the ‘grief-stricken widow’ as being the most vulnerable. There are just as many men who suffer from grief, many of them may not show it outwardly, and it can lead to alcoholism, drugs and other addictive behavior. They use substances and/or activities to mask and avoid their pain.
Some who are older who suffer the loss of a spouse, or parent, can be prone to becoming sad and withdrawn particularly if they’re already prone to depression. Likewise parents losing a son or daughter are at high risk for grief over an extended time as it seems so unfair to them.
Why is it some individuals can adjust to the ‘loss’ they experience, but others can’t seem to overcome it?
Some individuals, because of their psychological make-up take it harder, and the timing of the incident could render them more vulnerable to grief as they may be run down, feeling lonely or isolated, or already feeling depressed.
When these things coincide you’re more likely to have the components that can lead to feeling intense feelings of grief, and wonder if life will ever be enjoyable again.
OVERCOMING GRIEF TO MAKE LIFE ENJOYABLE AGAIN:
Time is a healer for grief…. but not completely. And there’s nothing wrong or morbid about keeping somebody in your memory particularly the memories that make you smile and thankful you were in their lives when they were living.
In order to deal with grief properly, sometimes it’s necessary to seek outside help. This is beneficial even in the short-term for those in shock. Most schools and colleges provide grief counseling when a student dies suddenly, and most companies provide bereavement days for loss of an immediate family member and offer an Employee Assistance Line for individual counseling.
But extended grief that continues to infect negatively your daily life long past the immediate mourning period, also requires you to seek professional help.
There’s no shame or weakness in getting help if it’ll help you bounce back faster, and get you on your road to recovery. Usually, all it takes is just talking to someone who has a compassionate listening ear. So many people who grieve keep everything all bottled up and it just grows and grows.
When this occurs, people become fixated on it and take it on as a quality of their lives. This is when it can become chronic depression and can lead to a mental health disorder.
When grief does turn into depression, individuals would best be advised to seek out a grief counselor or therapist to get help. When it escalates into depression, thinking clearly and rationally becomes more difficult as emotions will rule.
Your Doctor can provide medication to help you with grief causing depression, but these days more and more folks are avoiding medications that can become addictive. So, counseling should be considered your first port of call after discussing this with your Doctor.
If your grief has you constantly dwelling in the past or worried about your future then Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you focus on the present and maybe help loosen the hold on your life that grief has introduced. There are therapists who specialize in this type of therapy so seek them out to see if this is appropriate intervention for you.
Another therapy used in overcoming grief is hypnosis.
Hypnosis is a viable option for not allowing grief to develop into chronic depression. It can not only help the mind distract it from being entangled in ‘grief’, but also train it to look for, or foresee, the positives that’ll be coming into an individual’s life with time.
Hypnosis can help the unconscious mind seek out or identify signs that’ll offer hope… positive hope. Through repetition and progressive positive thought process, the signs and symptoms of grief will start to slip away. If you want to consider working directly with me on your grief through my online and in-office sessions then check out my Special Hypnosis Services Programs.
They say time heals all wounds, which is true. But sometimes waiting for that time to come can be sad, painful and tedious. Hypnosis can help mend and heal wounds and help accelerate the time spent in grief that overwhelms and destroys your joy of life.
Grief and grieving is normal. It’s a state to help us overcome the loss of something or someone dear to us. It’s also natural for loss of a job or even financial stability.
Whatever the reason there’s a normal morning period before life’s adventures await for your return. If returning is taking too long then it’s time to seek professional help.
There are specialists that can help you overcome a loss. Counseling and therapists can provide both short-term help on grieving but also are professionals you can seek out help to overcome extended stays of grief.
Hypnosis is also a viable alternative to replace your grieving thoughts about the past and bleak future with more positive thoughts about the present.
Self-hypnosis sessions you can listen to at home offer yet another alternative to making trips to a hypnotist, and more information about coping with grief and loss using self-hypnosis can be found here >>>
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES RELATED TO GRIEF:
Erika Slater CH
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