With an obvious nod towards Steven Covey in the title I want to explore the habits of highly confident people and make you realize the road for you to get to the same place as them is possible and not at all overwhelming.
Self-confidence is all about habits, and habits can be learned and changed. Nobody is born with more confidence than another but certain factors can promote constructive or damaging habits related to self-confidence.
The fact is you’re confident in many of the things you do already but you take them for granted. For example, I bet you’re a whiz at tying shoe laces? And you were born being an expert at tying laces, right? Of course not, you fumbled for ages with shoe laces when you were younger but eventually you did it until you mastered it and then it became a habit.
You may be confident about cooking pasta but walk into a room full of people you don’t know and feel awkward and shy and self-conscious rather than self-confident.
The fact you’re reading this means you’re interested in being a more confident person. Contrary to what many people think self-confidence has nothing to do with always being right or having complete certainty everything touched will turn to gold. Life can never be that black and white.
So here is my list of habits I’ve observed in highly confident people so you can understand gaining more self-confidence is doable once you understand what those habits are.
1. Coping With Any Situation:
Self-confident people do not anticipate that everything for them will be obtained smoothly and as to plan. Life always manages to throw us plenty of curve balls when we don’t expect them. When this happens confident people remain calm and relaxed and comfortable with uncertainty, and knowing they’ll deal with the unexpected situations as they crop up.
2. Dealing With Ego:
There is no need to be right all the time – it just places an unbearable pressure on you. You cannot grow without making mistakes and admitting them when they happen is not a weakness but displays strength of character. Confidence comes when you know it is more important to uncover the truth than stroke your ego, but equally important to stand up when you feel you’re right.
3. Not Being a Hostage to the Past:
Past negative experiences are only a predictor of future failure if we allow them to be. Confident people don’t allow themselves to be a victim of their past and handicap their outcomes. Instead they release themselves from history and past conditioning and give themselves permission to succeed.
4. Comparison to Others:
Confident people do not constantly compare their abilities and worth with others. They realize this is a road to misery. There is always somebody more beautiful, cleverer, and more charismatic – you name the trait – than you. This is unfortunately a habit many times passed down from parents. Comparison is not always a “bad thing” as it helps confident people determine what to model to be as successful as others. They just don’t use it as tool to fester on their deficiencies.
5. Keeping a Sense of Humor:
You’ll find most confident people don’t take themselves too seriously and this help’s them cope with those curve balls we mentioned earlier. Being able to laugh at yourself forms the habit of not being afraid to try things. Perfectionists don’t want to mess up and so avoid doing things they’re not already good at – which severely limits their capacity to grow and be more confident.
6. Focus on the Outcome:
When you focus on getting the result you want you side-step any thoughts directed to how you’re feeling. People with low confidence tend to focus on their feelings. Confident people are so busy focusing their attention on their actions rather than how they’re feeling they forget all about being confident – they just are.
7. Mental Rehearsals:
Self-confident people shape their expectations by practice rehearsing ahead of time what they want to be like in a specific situation. Mental rehearsals are a powerful mechanism to promote confidence in a performance situation and self-hypnosis is a powerful tool for helping to do this.
8. Challenging Thoughts:
Even confident people can slip into negative thought patterns that impact their outcomes if not checked. Our self-talk is learnt and has its roots in our sub-conscious mind – where our habits reside. When our negative thoughts are on automatic pilot then trouble is brewing as we’re likely to be closed-minded. Confident people catch their negative thoughts and challenge them and by doing so unlearn self-defeating habits. Self-hypnosis directly talks to our sub-conscious to replace negative habits with life-enriching positive habits.
What to do next:
So now you understand how highly confident people operate and want to know how you can learn those habits to put your life in overdrive. I’m close to completing a multi-session program to provide people like you with the changes you need to become a highly confident person.
This program will involve some hypnosis sessions and so will be done in a group setting in the metro-west Boston area. If you’re interested in boosting your confidence, and want to learn more then complete the short form below and I’ll contact you with more details and a special pricing offer for those who respond early.
Erika Slater, CH
Free At Last Hypnosis
Upton, MA 01568