When Silence is Golden…

listening image

Silence can indicate thoughtful listening…

One of the hardest things that most people contend with and dislike is when it comes to complete silence in the presence of another person.

For whatever reason, many people feel completely uncomfortable when it comes to being silent or having another person being silent around them. It is as if there is some golden rule that states there must be talking going on at all times for a meeting to be interesting and meaningful.

Interestingly, it is the silent moments which are often times the most precious and meaningful moments as that is when the greatest reflective listening is being done.

What  is it about silence in the presence of another person that seems so disturbing for so many?

The answer is twofold.

First off, people believe that if they are around another person it is natural that they would be expected to engage in a verbal conversation. Second, if you are around another person and they are not talking to you, it would stand to reason that perhaps they are not interested in you, hence they have chosen not to speak to you.

We live in a world today which is inundated with communication coming at us in a hundred thousand different directions. It would seem that we communicate more today than ever before especially with text messaging being the number one order of the day for most evolving in the text message generation.

Since we are always engaging in some form of communication, even if it is texting (which is terribly undermining the ability to communicate effectively for many), it would stand to reason that if you are in the presence of another person, then you should by all accounts be discussing something with them.

After all, if you were texting them when you were not together, then you should be talking now that you are together.

Interestingly, I have observed that when people are together, many of them are “texting” others…go figure!

People believe that if you are in the presence of another person and they are not talking to you, or adding to what you are saying then they must either find you or the conversation boring, or they must be thinking about someone or somewhere else they would rather be.

It’s funny, but how many times have you asked or wondered about another person when they are silent, “What’s wrong?” They respond back with, “Nothing, I was just listening to you.”

Interestingly, if they kept interrupting you or speaking over you while you were talking, this would bother you and you would want them to be silent!

To remain silent and truly listen is a lost art when it comes to communication.

People who are silent and listen for meaning when another person talks are better overall communicators. To have someone remain silent when you are talking and then paraphrase or ask you a deeper question based on what you just said demonstrates they are a truly good reflective listener.

Rather than they “just hearing you“, or thinking about how they will respond to what you are saying, golden silence is “just being in the moment” and appreciating just being with you!

Click here to learn how to experience comfortable silence!

Dr Peter
Staff Writer
Free At Last Hypnosis

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