The Keys to Overcoming Jealousy

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Jealousy can ruin relationships and your health

In the USA today, jealousy has been viewed to be the number one cause of physical abuse in relationships.

Furthermore, jealousy which once was mostly attributed to be associated with men and violence toward women has quickly become a reverse phenomenon that women have toward men. It is even more damaging when jealousy is felt by both.

Why all this jealousy?

Besides being one of the seven deadly sins in the Holy Bible, jealousy is a feeling that is often a by-product or symptom associated with a sense of ownership.

You see, jealousy often starts out earlier in life when one experiences a sense of loss or feelings of abandonment.

Sometimes, it might be associated with not having much in the way of possessions which leads an individual to develop feelings of inadequacy. Furthermore, this leads to feelings of possible rejection or shame. Over a period of time the individual becomes all too familiar with loss, rejection and shame vowing somewhere at a conscious or unconscious level to never tolerate this feeling/situation again.

Instead, they try to control who or what comes into their life through ownership – possessing things and people!

When it comes to relationships people with jealousy issues are often times pushers and pullers. They try with all their might and emotions to get people interested in them. Once they get them, they try to pull them closer. When these same people try to get closer on their own, they are often pushed away by the controller, the one with the jealousy issues as they want to control the terms and levels of intimacy.

When their partners become frustrated and begin to back off, or threaten to leave the relationship, the individual with the jealousy issue will do whatever they can to pull them back. It is when their partner finally leaves the relationship, or develops other friends that they become extremely jealous.

You see, jealousy in relationships is all based on control – believing you can control others!

Ironically, when individuals with jealousy issues try to control others, forcing them to draw closer, this often times pushes their mates away. In fact, it can be scary for their mates.

The best way to overcome jealousy is to do three things; 1) self-esteem building, 2) forgiving others and loving yourself, and 3) learning to be free.

There are great books, seminars, courses for self-esteem building, as well as counselling and hypnosis.

By investing time in building one’s self-esteem daily, they will begin to feel good about who they are and learn to respect others in the same light.

Since most of jealousy stems from past losses or failures, individuals need to forgive those in the past who have disappointed or hurt them. Writing letters to these people (but never sending them) is a great way to get feelings out which starts the healing process. Furthermore, by forgiving others you are showing love. In order to show love, you must become that and this feeling creates respect and autonomy. It is very important to love and respect yourself. You can’t give this to others unless you first know it.

Finally, when you have forgiven others, as well as yourself – learning to love yourself and feel good about yourself, you will recognize a very liberating feeling in your being… freedom!

Once you learn this feeling of freedom, you will respect the freedoms and rights of others and are readily prepared for a great relationship!

Most jealous people find it hard to forgive and hypnosis can help with forgiveness therapy and if this describes you, you should seek out a hypnotherapist with experience in this area.

Check out a special forgiveness MP3 hypnosis session here>>> .

Dr Peter
Staff Writer
Free At Last Hypnosis

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