How to Get Healthy Independence in Relationships

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Healthy boundaries are good for independence…

The catch phrase or pop psychology concept for the last 10-15 years surrounding relationships is co-dependency.

Co-dependency is not a clinical term at all, rather the blending of two personality disorders found in the DSM-IV – dependent and independent personality disorders. These are not healthy personality disorders by the way.

In fact, when you have one or both partners in a relationship possessing either one of these, then dysfunction becomes the norm in the relationship. Interestingly with divorces rates so high, it appears that dysfunction is running rampant in too many relationships.

There are too many people in relationships who do not grasp the concept of healthy boundaries.

What happens is that some couples become overly enmeshed in one another lives that they don’t know where each one ends and the other begins.

The problem with “co-dependency” is that some people lose their identity by taking on their partner’s, or they simply give away who they really are because they are afraid of being alone because they did not really know who they were in the first place, or what they really wanted in a relationship.

The key to a healthy relationship is to compliment who and what you partner is already, and not complicate one another lives!

How does one ago about establishing healthy boundaries and keeping an acceptable level of independence?

First off, never stop being who you are.

This means you should still lead the life you lived before the relationship in terms of healthy lifestyles, enjoying family and working at a job that makes you happy. Also, with that said, you also need to maintain or keep “me time” – the time when you can escape into prayer, meditation or simply playing/frolicking to feel good inside, as well as refreshed!

When you enter into a relationship, you shouldn’t have to give up the things that keep you healthy as well as the things that you enjoy.

The same holds true for your partner whereby you should encourage them to do the things that they love doing which makes them happy. It should also be noted, this same principle applies for children.

Of course your children depend on you for just about everything when they are young, but you both still need “your down time” as well as your “adult time” spent together as a couple.

When kids are involved, this does become a slippery slope whereby independence may feel compromised because young children are very demanding of an adult’s time.

The key is, there is always time to be had just for you!

Some people confuse independence in a relationship with pulling away from your partner or withdrawing. This is not true! In reality, independence means cognitive thought processing based on your own thoughts.

You see, you are autonomous or “free” to think for yourself which is a great thing and mentally healthy.

This really proves that “two heads are better than one” in a relationship and in fact, it creates for better relationship dynamics. These dynamics based on independence are what create, maintain and keep good relationships solid!

If your relationship lacks independence get the help you need here at this resource.

Dr Peter
Staff Writer
Free At Last Hypnosis

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